Desperately Seeking Sanity

I’m sorry, bloggy break or not, I can’t NOT talk about the NKOTB today.  (Excuse the double negative, I’m pretty sure Mrs. Callahan, my 12th grade English teacher isn’t reading….)

I resisted all morning the urge to get on here and blog about them, and I gave in.  I can’t help it.   And did you know that they added more tour dates… so I don’t have to drive as far now…

but here’s the sad part.  I happened to be helping out at the church yard sale this morning and escaped into the youth room to watch them.  But only when my trusted buddy would call me when they were back on… it helps to have little kids understand the importance of knowing when the commercials end and the real content is back on.

A normal person would sit on the couch and watch, but not me.  No… I was up and singing and dancing, assuming that I was by myself or with another fellow NKOTB fan, until I was jamming to Tonight… swooning in the slow parts and rocking out when the tempo picked up.

That’s when I turned around and saw Pastor Man standing there laughing.

What’s even worse?  I didn’t care!

No, I didn’t.  And when he dissed them… (i can see now that the boys are going to feel just as threated by them as they were 18 years ago….) I totally spouted back with… “I didn’t put up with people talking bad about them then and I won’t now.”

I like their new single… yes, I downloaded it when it was released Tuesday… and I wasn’t the only one who knew all the words and could sing along when they sang it today… did you see all the other 30 something mothers there singing, too?

And oh.my.word… did you see Donnie lift up his shirt and show that belly?  I think I was light headed.

And what’s up with Jordan with the sunglasses in the pouring rain and the shirt so far open?  I never did like him though.  But I will say, Monkey Boy has aged well.  Seriously.

Jon looked a little winded, but seriously, I can’t move like that now at 31 and I’m a decent dancer… he’s 40!  Still impressed after all these years, but I wish they wouldn’t have cut away during the oh oh oh oh oh part of Right Stuff.  It doesn’t matter, I danced there for them.

DORK!

Yup, that’s me!

D-O-R-K!

But I don’t care.

The new kids are back and I am happy….

except for the skanks on the stage behind them… I could’ve done without them.

I now return you to this bloggy break of mine, in which, I am pleased to report that I have gotten SO much done this week, but there’s still more to be done to get caught up.  I appreciate your prayers for me, despite the fact that it was so petty in nature… but hey!  If it’s important to me, then it’s important to Him.

See you Monday… and oh yeah, I may have a video… if I can get all that laundry folded….

Until next time…

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Heather

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Y’all… I gotta tell ya.  Things are CRAZY right now.  C-R-A-Z-Y.  Most of the time, this little blog-o-mine keeps me sane.  As does Twitter.  And MySpace.  But in reflecting upon some things tonight as we got our hineys kicked from here to kingdom come, I realized that the Mommy Community, as much as I love it, and love you all, is distracting me WAY too much.

Of course, the pipes and the TV didn’t help either.

But I have several client projects (I thought I sold my business?), the OIVAC is this weekend (come see me at the Virtual Assistant Revolution booth Friday-Sunday or just come to learn about being a VA!), our church yard sale is this weekend (pray for us to raise $1500 to send the kids and the teens… and me! to camp), and we have a ball game Saturday (in which I hope we all show up mentally as well as physically unlike tonight)….

So, I just decided.  I’m leaving for awhile.  Don’t be sad.  Don’t delete me.  I’ll be back in a few days.  Normally, I’d have some autoposts up there, but I don’t.  Because I need to walk away right now.

And I’m not really telling you this for any other reason than if you see me on Twitter or perusing blogs, tell me to get back to what I’m supposed to be doing.  Please?

My children’s clean underwear and socks depend on it.

And while I’m asking for your help in holding me accountable…. might I also ask for your prayers?  It’s nothing major really but I ask that you just pray that I can get it all back together, get done what needs to get done, and that I can do it all with a smile on my face.  I know that you all are some powerful prayers and I know that I’ll be able to feel you uplift me so that I can just pull it all back together.

And then I’ll be back.  With lots of stupid, crazy things to share… including a Meme.

Promise.

Until next time…

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Sister Pie Honey Bunch (you know how I love you…) wasn’t ready to be done with the whole Q&A session… and quite honestly, I’m not sure that I’ve ever really addressed this.  I know that I have in emails back and forth between readers, but when she left me a comment and said here’s a question I can’t find the answer to:  What is your career? I had to stop and think on if I ever gave you the low down on what I actually DO all day (besides capture mice, photograph rabbit funerals, fix broken pipes, assemble entertainment centers, coach softball, chat with cute boys, install wordpress blogs, lead the youth at church, referee fights, complete science experiments, cart kids all over God’s creation, blog, twitter, play on myspace, etc.)

I don’t think I did.

So where shall we start?

Here’s the short answer.  If I were to hand you my business card, you would see 8 local tv station logos, with my name and Corporate Director of Research and Sales Promotions in italics underneath.  Fancy title, no?  It makes me seem so intelligent, so professional, and I know, you’re probably shocked that the moron coming to you live from this little blog would hold such a position.  But it’s true.

But what I like to tell people?  I’m somebody.  As in, somebody needs to figure out how we can sell this…somebody needs to have that report on my desk first thing tomorrow morning… somebody needs to implement a training session on ratings… somebody needs to figure out what in the world the networks are doing in the fall…

That somebody?  Is me.

If you live in Mississippi, Missouri, or Georgia, there’s a chance that I have something to do with your local television stations.  But no, I won’t tell you, at least not publically, what stations that I work for.  That all goes back to boundaries… and keeping my professional and personal life separate.

Now, I’m sure you’re wondering what that fancy title requires of me.  Because from most I get the deer in headlights look when I tell them what I do.  My job is two fold, really…  (And for the record, I’ve been in TV since I was a senior in high school when I interned at the local NBC affiliate here in Roanoke… and have had a PAID gig in TV since 1998… so this December will mark 10 years….)

My job is to come up with compelling ways to convince advertisers that they should advertise on television as opposed to radio, newspaper, billboard, etc (or how to couple TV with those mediums to maximize their message) and then why they should buy our station instead of the competitors.

I do the former with industry research and the latter by anlyzing the Nielsen ratings.

The programs that you love are fueled by the number of people watching them and that’s recorded by a company called Nielsen.  Perhaps you’ve heard of them.  They measure who is watching what and then four times a year, I get those reports.  (Some markets get it daily, but ours are too small to have that.)  If the shows do well, they get to stay on.  If they don’t, then they get axed.  Like Men In Trees… only 3 episodes left and it doesn’t matter that I have watched religiously since the premiere almost two years ago.  I am not a Nielsen family, and therefore, what I watch doesn’t count.

However, there are some shows that do REALLY well in some markets and BOMB in others.  Because they do well nationally, they get to stay but if they BOMB on our stations, it’s my job to make them appear like they do well.  Meaning, I have to mathematically make these programs look like they are going to great… which involves statistics, research, etc.  Math.  I hate it.  I’ve never done well with it.  However, I love what I do and am pretty good at it.  For example, ABC released their fall line up Monday.  I went through yesterday and tried to come up with sound rationale on how well those programs would perform in our market based on similar programs, time period history, how well other programs did premiering behind Grey’s, etc.  It sounds complicated, but for me, I guess it’s just second nature.

Although sometimes?  You just can’t polish a turd.  But I try hard.

And I get to train people on ratings and estimates and help put together sales promotions.  And travel.  But no where interesting… not really.

So that’s my real job.  That’s what pays the bills.  I love TV.  I love working with multiple stations and networks.  I love working virtually (our entire corporate office is virtual).

However, as I’ve alluded to in the past, I also have my own business.  That’s the fun money, the vacation fund, and I truly love that as well, but not to where I want to do it on a full time basis.  As I’ve said before, it’s a paid hobby, utilizing the knowledge that I have and my background.  (And yes, my company knows about my business… in fact many of our employees own some sort of business in addition to the TV gig.)

So that’s what I do.

And I should probably get to doing it now, or I’m going to be out of a job…

Until next time…

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I’m Pooped.  With a capital P even.

The motivation is still here, but so is all the work, and the projects that went with.  I tell ya, that God of mine… He’s so funny.

You know how I saved a boatload of money switching my auto insurance to Geico fixing my own pipes?

Tonight I spent that.  On something else that broke.

However, due to my new budget plan and savings when the TV blew, I was able to go and get a new one.  I was in search of cheap and I found it.  $150 for the TV and because it was marked down because it was a display model, I got a new tv cart/entertainment center.  That was also marked down.

I went with a budget of $250 and spent that.  Even though I really wanted one of those fancy LCD HDTV initial ones.  But I don’t need one of those.

Matthew and I hauled the old stuff out, brought the new stuff in.  Sam and I assembled the unit and we did a pretty good job.  I only had 2 parts left over, but I found my mistake and luckily it was one that could be fixed with out tearing the whole thing apart.

The TV/VCR/DVR/VCR/PS2 are all hooked up; the universal remote is programmed for the new boob tube and this little girl is tuckered out.

The bathroom is in shambles still as I never did get to put it all away.  I was making sure that it wouldn’t leak or that I did something wrong.  Mt. St. Laundry still resides in my kitchen.  The yard sale stuff is still in the craft room, but there’s always tomorrow.  Right?

Provided nothing else breaks.

I’m grateful that I have a kid free weekend coming up so I can attempt to get caught up on this stuff.  Please pray that I’m not exhausted by the time the weekend rolls around.

Until next time…

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The science fair is done. Awards were given today and tonight, we parents can go and ooh and aah over our children’s projects, bring them home and then find a time when the kids won’t notice to trash them because they are taking up space.

(You do that too, don’t you? Surely you don’t save EVERY project?)

But because I’m behind the 8-ball, I never got to show you the finished products.

Let’s start with the dreaded potato clock. Here is what my porch looked like Sunday afternoon…

But we pulled it off and created this…

I think it looks pretty good… especially since the kid doesn’t have a design bone in his body… ok, so maybe i helped a little… but seriously, just with the typing. They were his ideas.

Nice title, don’t you think?

And my kid has a sense of humor… just read that last line on the materials…

What I don’t have a picture of is his conclusion… which started off with this… “Don’t believe everything you read on the internet…”

The kid’s a riot I tell ya!

And then there was the floating egg project by my lovely and talented, anal, perfectionist daughter…

The title isn’t creative in and of itself, but it’s what she wanted and she didn’t want to hear any suggestions…. and the entire project was made with my scrapbooking supplies…

It WAS my idea to replace the ‘o’s with eggs. It took me 20 minutes to explain to her what I meant and she finally agreed that it would look cool…and yes, I realize that there are only 4 cups there instead of the 5 that we used… that’s because after the SECOND trip to get photos developed I realized that I forgot to copy cup 0 on the disk… I said screw it, she didn’t complain, so I didn’t make a big deal out of it.

Everything… and I mean EVERYTHING is color coordinated on this including the brads that she used on the sides. It really did look nice…

Today, in the door they came with news that I, the best mom in the world, Sam won best effort. Can you believe it? (Personally, I think Matthew put forth more of an effort, but hey! I wasn’t a judge.

And no, that wasn’t an award for me, but this one is….

Amy at Permission to Peruse awarded me with this award and tickled I am.. Especially since I’ve not mentioned awards, at all, on my blog and I didn’t have to pay her for her to give it to me.

This one really is mine… unless I have to share with the kids, since it is they who give me the most of my content…

Until next time…

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Apparently, telling the enemy that he could not have my faith did something to me.  Perhaps I should’ve done that a while ago, but I awoke this morning with a new attitude and it was a good day.

I dropped the kids off with their science fair projects and I was proud of them as I looked at the other display boards that were not quite as good as theirs.  Pride?  Yes.

I came home and paid bills and worked on my budget.  I kicked butt and took names at work.  I coached, I advised, I led with my business.

I figured out how to be at a graduation planning meeting at 5:45 tomorrow, get Matthew dropped off for tutoring at 6 and Sam to Brownies by 6:30.  I called some friends.

When the work day was done, I fed the kids.  I fed myself (you think this is so easy, but so many nights, it’s them that eat and I forget or get distracted.)

I cleaned the kitchen.

And then?

I decided that I was going to scrub the bathroom.  It needed it.  My plan was to work my way around to the linen closet and go through the linens and take the ones that I don’t want to the church yard sale.

I started under the sink.  I removed everything and went to move a bottle of alcohol over to where the peroxide was.  The bottle tapped the pipe under the sink and then there was water.

While Matthew took his time getting me a bucket, I held my hand over it, assessing exactly what was going on.  It didn’t take a rocket scientist to determine that the pipe broke.  They were old.  It was inevitable.

After determining that I was going to need at least a new trap - U - piece or what ever it’s called, I started calling around to my friends looking to borrow a pipe wrench.  I secured one, went to pick it up, and he asked me, “Do you want me to come over and help?’

“thanks for the offer, but let me see what I can do.”

“Do you have the piece that you need to replace?”

I replied, “No!  I have to take it off first so that I can go to Home Depot and show them what I need.”

And I came home and removed the pipes.  One more than I actually NEEDED to replace, but it wasn’t looking so hot, so I thought, what the heck… as long as I’m down here, I’ll replace it too. (Okay, so the reality is, I broke the pipe off of it while trying to remove it and while I could’ve salvaged it, I felt it was easier to just replace it.)

I wish that I could tell you that this was some debacle; that I screwed it up horribly and there was water spewing everywhere, but I can’t.

This isn’t really comical except for the fact that I broke the pipe CLEANING (which is why I think that I shouldn’t clean…).

I got the pipes off, I went to Home Depot, I got what I needed, including the tape to go around the threads (which I actually knew that I needed) and came home and started assembling the pieces back together.

There was one last piece and I just wasn’t sure how it went on.  It didn’t fit with the washer and so I headed back to my friend’s to return his wrenches and ask him.

“You don’t really need this washer.” he told me and followed with “Are you sure that you don’t want me to come over and help?”

“It’s almost done!  That was the last piece that I needed, but I promise… if I get home and it’s not right, I’ll call.”

He seemed displeased with that answer but gave me some parting advice and I came home.

And I installed my new pipes.

Did you get that?

I, me, Heather Jacobson, installed my new pipes.

I turned the water on and so far, no leaks.  (And the pipes are so clean now you can hear the water draining.  It scared me at first.)

But the best part about this isn’t that I paid a whopping $11.47 for this project.  No, that’s not it.  (Even though I saved a minimum of $100).

The best part about this is that I didn’t freak out.  I didn’t panic.  I assessed the situation, called and asked for help, asked questions and figured it out.

I did that.

And for me?

That’s a big deal.

This whole day was a big deal.  A good day.  A day that I so desperately needed.

I have spent so much time the last three weeks feeling dumb, worthless, like I couldn’t do anything right… but today?   I did it.

And I hope tomorrow is the same, minus the broken pipes.

Until next time…

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And so we need to wrap this up. And I need to tell you who won. And I need to finish my work for the day, pick a blogger of the week, get ready for OIVAC and a multitude of other things, but you all are important and I know that you’ve been waiting patiently for the rest of the answers…

Humor me, okay?

So let’s go…

Tara R has a few… (overachiever)

What are your summer plans?

Well, that’s a good question. Because right now, there are TONS of things all slated but with no definitive start and end dates.

I do know that I will be sleeping in. I know that the kids will be spending a week at church camp and then three weeks with my parents. I know that football starts on August 1st, so they will be home by then.

I also know that I will be in Atlanta on business from June 23rd - 25th and at Teen Camp some time.

We’ve also have a 4 day weekend planned to go to Philly in June or August and a trip to Mississippi in June or August.

But like I said, no definitive dates. Perhaps I should work on that.

What is your favorite childhood memory?

Hmm… I’m not sure that I could pick just one. I do know that I loved visiting my Grandma and Grandpa Moore and playing with the silly putty. We would take the putty and comic strips and press down, press down, press down (if you aren’t in my family, you wouldn’t get that) and make the imprint of the comic on the silly putty. And then there was the tub of popcorn that Pap kept in his garage that he made in the electric skillet… it was right next to the chocolate chip cookies that my grandma made. You could only tell the difference in the tubs because Pap took one of those OLD OLD OLD label makers with the plastic labels in it and marked popcorn on the top.

Then there were the HOURS that we spent on his work bench taking things apart, building things, playing with his tools. In fact, even though I don’t use much of the things that belonged to him that now reside in my shed, I love going up there and just remembering it when it was there.

Sadly, all I have left of him and the garage are my memories and some tools that I have no idea how to use. My future husband will LOVE my shed.

If you could be anywhere in the world right now where would you be and with whom?

Anywhere but Roanoke, VA. It would have to be warm, because it’s freaking cold here and it’s May. So let’s just say on a cruise through the Carribean. Everyone says Florida or Cancun, so I’ll be different. Now, as for who I would be with? My friends… any of them that would want to come to have fun with me. It would not be my children and it would not be some man… unless that man was a member of NKOTB, then I would make an exception.

I love my children, but after the projects this weekend and the cold and the rain… I want to be away from all of the above.

Hey! I’m just being honest.

Melanie wants to know:

You have this blog, your new web business, the coaching… am I missing something? My question is how do you find the time?! How do you balance it all?

As I alluded yesterday, I don’t balance it all. At least not well. I have gotten really good at robbing peter to pay paul with my time, but every once in awhile it all creeps up on me and I meltdown, lay out my prioroties AGAIN and start over. This would normally be about the time when I ask God why He choses to do this to me and in a very LOUD booming voice, He tells me that I do it to myself.

With that said, we do have some boundaries. I do not work between the hours of 5pm and 9pm. Ever. Ok, well not ever, but rarely. Those are times that are reserved for my children. And they will remind me of that if the phone rings or if I sit down to work. And Friday nights? Game/Movie night when they are with me. I made the mistake of always working/ignoring them in the past and I will NOT make it again.

But the reality of it is… I’m a single woman and my children are older. Meaning they aren’t underfoot all the time. They have lives of their own and when it’s nice outside, they aren’t in here, they are out side playing. They visit with their dad one night every week and every other weekend. They are in bed by 9pm every night.

That leaves me with time on my hands. And because I can’t stand to have NOTHING to do (and by nothing I mean, things that I want to do) I fill my time. My problem is when I know we have nothing going on, I over extend myself. But I’m getting better.

Learning to say no would help out alot.

Megan @ FriedOkra asks:

Who are the main influences to your writing style and what writers do you admire most?

It’s funny to look back at my first posts and my posts now. My writing style has changed and I believe for the better. Before I was just writing for me and now I tailor it to my audience. Before no one was reading and now all of a sudden they are.

But the two bloggers that I love when it comes to writing styles are That Chick at Jason. For the Love of God and Beth at I Should Be Folding Laundry.

Now, what made me decide that I could write… at all? Janet Evanovich. After reading all about the adventures of Stephanie Plum, I realized that Janet makes these things up and I pretty much live them in my daily life. And since I know that many read her books, I thought people might like to hear about my escapades too.

Last one…

Shane asks:

What is the ONE thing (other than knowing God) that you feel is most important to teach your children?

This one is easy. Never give up. I can think of many mistakes that I’ve made in my life but through each of them I’ve never given up. I’ve found a way to make lemonade out of the lemons that I bought, or stepped in, or acquired. I’ve thought about giving up, but I never have.

I think that we proved a valuable lesson this weekend with that stupid potato clock. No, we didn’t make it work, but neither of us ever gave up. And when he turned his project in this morning, he was proud of it… (even if FOUR other kids did the same thing and it worked for them). We fought the good fight and I firmly believe that if you keep going, if you don’t give up, in the end, the rewards are well worth it.

Ok… phew… we’re done with the questions that have been asked, however, I don’t want this to end here… because I love it. So I’ve installed a new little widget on my side bar so that we can do this whenever.  (and it was as a result of this little game that the owner contacted me to tell me about askablgr.com. So check it out…

Now…

About that winner…

There were 16 people to ask a question… and I’m going to ask my twitter friends to draw for me…

and since Yvonne was the only person slacking off today and reading my tweets first person to respond, the lucky winner is…..

Tara R.

Tara, I’ll be emailing you….

Bet you want to know what she won, right?

Nothing special or creative… just the left over potatoes from the science fair project…

Totally kidding!

She’ll win $10 to the online store of her choice… so when I email you Tara, tell me where you want to spend it….

Now I must get back to work….

Until next time…

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Welcome welcome to the Mommy Fest Blog Party!

Or at least my little corner of it.

I’m Heather… an insane work at home mom of two children. You can read all about them on my blog, and don’t worry, I’ve asked them if they mind me sharing about them on my blog… and they said they didn’t. Today, anyway.

I invite you to peruse, leave a comment, and we’ll be drawing for a $10 Amazon Gift Certificate at the end of the week (entries will stay open until Friday night at Midnight EST and the winner will be emailed by Monday.)

So to be entered in my little comment, tell me… what’s the best part about blog parties?

Hope to see you back soon!

Until next time…

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The science fair projects are done and I’ll have more on that later.

I’ll also have the remaining answers to your questions (and really, I’m putting it off because I have to talk about balance and this weekend PROVES that I suck at it…) but I promise… soon. Like today sometime.

But amidst the running to and fro this weekend to find out what time it was using a clock and learning how to make a good egg float (because bad eggs float) I happened across something that made me stop and think.

And while I was drafting up this post in my head, I decided that this would be a great video post for you!

So take a peek, it’s not long, just about 5 minutes…

Now, I want to know what you think…

NOT of the video, of the content contained within!

Until next time…

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I have spent multiple weeks being attacked by the enemy. These attacks have come by way of members of my church, members of my family, friends, strangers, children, adults, etc. Every time I feel that I have risen above it (read: laughed it off and tried to pretend like it doesn’t bother me) another attack would happen.

I have spent the better part of two weeks angry, afraid, bothered, hurt, and every other emotion that you can think of but my motto has always been “fake it til ya make it” which really is just the same thing as telling yourself a lie long enough that you will eventually believe it. A lie is a lie is a lie.

But my God? He’s so funny. Here’s the first thing He showed me today.

I arrived at church in time for Sunday School, as usual, and was trying to figure out what class I wanted to go to. I don’t normally go sit with the teens for Sunday school, but I’ve missed Wednesday nights that last few weeks due to softball, that I thought it would be cool to go and hang with them. But, Matthew was in there this morning as we are acclimating him into Youth and I didn’t think he needed his mother in there.

But I really didn’t want to go to my normal class because they are doing Romans and I did that lesson a month ago in my morning Bible Study. I know that something new might have been revealed to me, but it didn’t matter because the elementary class teacher wasn’t there today and as Pastor Man was frantically searching for the materials, I offered to teach. I thought that because I had been doing so well with the softball team that maybe I could make it as an elementary school sunday school teacher. That and I didn’t have to chose between the teen and adult class.

Perfect, right?

Wrong. I am NOT cut out for the Elementary Sunday School teacher but the lesson that we learned today was that you can’t fool God.

Nice way to start the day.

I laughed and said, “gotcha God. I know, I know, I can’t fool you, but please just let me go on thinking that I am okay and eventually it will be.”

And then there was service in which I was reminded in every single song that He is there for me; that He is an awesome God; that He is my friend.

And what am I doing? Pretending that He doesn’t know that something is wrong. Like I have this secret that I can’t share.

But then? I lost it. I mean, like broke down, lost it.

And it happened at the chorus of this song…

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow,
Because He lives, all fear is gone;
Because I know He holds the future,
And life is worth the living,
Just because He lives!

Oh but it gets better dear ones.

After I got the science fair projects done and completed, I sat down to flip the channels while I waited for Sam to clean up her supplies and I stopped on TD Jakes. I love me some TD Jakes. I don’t know what it is about him, but I could sit and listen to him for hours and never tire.

And in the introduction of his message he said, “it’s about faith, stupid.” I’m sure on any other day, I might have been offended, but not today. Because stupid? It’s exactly what I’ve been.

It’s not about my kids, my car, my family, my job, my church, my friends.

The devil doesn’t want any of those things.

He wants my faith.

He wants everything that I have to cling to so that I falter and join his ranks. He wants to take it away from me.

Well I got news for you Mr. devil….

It’s mine and you can’t have it.

Until next time…

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