May 29th, 2007
…it’s public….
…but not as public as it should be…
This is a ramble of thoughts based on a simple sentance that struck me in Church.
In church last Sunday, our Pastor spoke about how so many people will say their spirituality is a personal matter but that it shouldn’t be…
It reminded me of an email that I sent him a few months ago…and this is just part of it…
So here goes….I’m rambling…I said that prayer. I sat here in my bed, tears in my eyes, and decided that I had nothing to lose — but that I just can’t do this anymore. (You are probably thinking that I am the biggest basketcase…but that’s okay….)
Now, Lisa says I have to go public with it and when she said that I almost said “then i take it back” — see I don’t do public with my inner most thoughts and feelings and that goes for my prayers too…so what does this mean? We don’t do this at the church that I go to…and I’m just so confused about it all. So she says “Tell {Pastor Man]” — aren’t you the lucky one…..
I’m pretty sure that he wanted to share that email, or at least the story behind it in church, but he knew that I would be mortified. I ask myself now, why? Why should I be uncomfortable for him to share that? (Besides the fact that the rest of the email was a HUGE ramble and in looking back at it, even I’m going WOW.)
Over the past two months, I’ve talked alot with people about how I feel, shared a few God stories, but not as much as I should be. I should be more open. I should tell more people.
Shoot, I don’t even tell my mother. I tell her we go to church; I talk about the people that go to our church.
So why do we find it to be so personal and not share? Is it because we don’t want people to know who we really are? Are we afraid that they won’t like us if we tell them that we’ve accepted Jesus as our Savior?
Will they think that we don’t know how to have fun? Will they think that we’re “Bible Thumpers”? Will they think that they have to be prim and proper and watch what they say around us?
I have to tell you… I have NEVER felt as comfortable in my own skin as I do with the people from my church…and it’s really cool.
We worship together.
We pray together.
We cry together.
We laugh together.
I’ve said many times that if I would’ve known Church was this much fun I would’ve been doing it a long time ago. But I also know that it’s a matter of finding the right church for you. I’m grateful that I did and not just for the fun but for the spiritual growth that I’ve witnessed in our family — not just in me, but the kids too.
Church might not be “your thing” and you know what, that’s fine… I’m not going to be the one to force it down your throat..
But seriously, just like I told Lisa and my now Pastor…
What do you have to lose?
Until next time…
Heather
Author’s Note: This has been sitting in my drafts for almost two months….since writing this, I have prayed out loud at church, gone to the Altar infont of the entire congregation, shared my testimony with a few, among other things…but I wasn’t ready to pull the trigger on this post…but today I am… and so I did…
Filed under Faith |
I know it was difficult for you! I also know that when I said you need to make it public, I didn’t mean you have to shout it from the rooftops at everyone you know 
You have been making it public. Making it public just means not to be ashamed of it. I will tell you it is hardest to share with family and friends — especially the ones who knew you pre-Jesus. They (unless they’ve also accepted Jesus) will not understand some of the changes that have happened or will continue to happen in you.
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