When we’re unsure about our ability to go…

Through my buddy, Lisa, I found out about Lysa TerKeurst’s call for Christian writers and a chance to get published. So here’s my entry. It’s a start and I wrote it a few nights ago, not knowing about this little call… but I thought I would throw it out there…

I say this with a little apprehension.. and it’s odd, because it’s what my entry talks about, but I’d love to know what you think…

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10 Moses said to the LORD, “O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.”

11 The LORD said to him, “Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the LORD ? 12 Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.”

13 But Moses said, “O Lord, please send someone else to do it.” (Exodus 4:10-13 NIV)

We are commissioned to “Go and make disciples of all nations” (Matthew 28:19-20 NIV) but what happens when we’re scared to “go?” Do we have fears of inadequacy? Do we think that we don’t know enough about the Word or about Jesus Christ to make believers of others?

As a new Christian of only a few months, I had the same fears. While I attended church every Sunday, and for that matter, was at church every time the doors were opened, including Sunday School, Bible Studies, etc., I didn’t think that I was ready to tell others about Jesus.

Yes, I knew what He did in my life. I knew what He did in the lives of my children and it was great. But for months, I’d been listening to fellow Christians spout Bible verses out and knew very few myself. These people had been Christians forever, having dedicated their lives at early ages. They grew up in Sunday school and in homes that read the Bible daily, some even attending Christian high school and colleges. How could I possibly back up what I was saying with Biblical truth? What was even more difficult was knowing that those people that I was to “go” to were friends of mine that new me BC (before Christianity) and would see me only as someone who had “found religion”. Didn’t I need to know all the facts before telling them that the only way to Heaven was through Jesus Christ? (John 14:6)

Knowing that I didn’t have a leg to stand on when it came to reciting the Bible, I prayed that God’s light would shine through me. If I couldn’t tell people, I thought that I could show people. After all, actions speak louder than words, right? I’d encountered many people that spouted off Bible verses left and right that didn’t come close to living a Christian life.

One day, I was contacted by someone through my past on MySpace. I was worried as this person knew me from a very dark time in my life, a time that I wasn’t proud of. When he asked me what was new, I was quick to throw the words “very active in my church” in there. I needed him to know that I wasn’t the same Heather that I was 10 years ago. I needed him to know that I’d changed. I needed him to know that I’d given my heart to God. Of course, I needed him to know all of this without actually coming out and admitting this because I lacked the confidence. It was almost as if I felt that I would be tested by anyone to whom I admitted that I was a Christian to. Knowing that I lacked the memorization skills of the Bible, I was sure that I would fail miserably.

Something unexpected happened. He started asking me about God, about Jesus, about the things that He had done in my life. I had a captive audience and I froze. What could I possibly tell this guy? I knew nothing other than that I’d been rescued from sin, become new again, and was now in a personal relationship with Christ.

I said a quick prayer, asking God to grant me the wisdom to witness to him; asking for the strength and the confidence to share the Good News to someone who was willing to listen to me.

Before I knew it, Bible verses were escaping my fingers as I typed. While I had the internet open to Bible Gateway, ready to look up anything required of me, I didn’t need to. Words were flowing from my hands that I didn’t know I contained within the walls of my brain.

He was listening. By “He” I mean both God, to my prayers, and my old friend, to the words that I had obviously hidden in my heart (Psalms 119:11) unbeknownst to me.

God has given us a mission. We are to go. When God told Moses to head into Egypt, Moses didn’t want to and had the excuse that he wasn’t a good speaker. Moses begged the Lord to send someone else. He had no confidence that the Lord would be with him and give him the words that he needed to say.

I’d venture to say we’re all a little like Moses, at least I know that I am. Even now, I wonder what I’ll say to people; if I’ll come up with the right words, the words that will resonate with the person that I’m speaking with. But I stop to think about what the Lord said to Moses, “11 Then the Lord asked Moses, “Who makes a person’s mouth? Who decides whether people speak or do not speak, hear or do not hear, see or do not see? Is it not I, the Lord? 12 Now go! I will be with you as you speak, and I will instruct you in what to say.” (Exodus 4:11-12 NLT)

Trust in the Lord. Trust in Him that He will give you the words that you’re supposed to share with others. Trust in knowing that if He gives you a job to do, then He’ll equip your toolbox with the necessary items needed to perform the job.

Prayer: Lord, help me to have faith in you. Help me to know that with you all things are possible and that if you’ve asked me to do something that I will know that you’ll give me the ability to do the job. Give me the courage and the confidence to tell others about you and know that the right words will come out of my mouth, the mouth that you made. In your precious name I pray. Amen.

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Until next time…

Heather