Dear Heather:

I love your blog!  You always bring a smile to my face or make me spit out my coffee.  Keep up the blunders so that I’ll have something to remind me that my life isn’t that bad.  I do have a question though in hopes that you have a been there, done that response… What advice can you offer for purchasing tickets to the 3D Hannah Montana concert at the local movie theaters?

Thanks

Mom to Hannah’s biggest fan 

Dear M2HBF:

First, let me clarify that my daughter is Hannah’s biggest fan, but I appreciate your trying to achieve that status.

Secondly, thanks for the kind words about my blog.  I’m glad that my quirks are entertaining to you.  I hope to keep them coming… in fact, the answer to your question might provide  another chuckle.

Hannah Montana’s 3D concert is all the rage so let me tell you how to go about purchasing tickets.

First, when the tickets go on sale on December 1st, two months before that event takes place, there’s a reason.  Don’t stroll up to the ticket window on a Saturday night at 7pm and expect to obtain three tickets to see Miss Montana.

My next piece of advice would be that if you are the procrastinator, purchase your tickets for a day during the week.  Drive the 2 miles to the movie theater to buy them as opposed to purchasing from a vendor such as Fandango.

However, if you do decide to purchase make sure that you select the correct date that you wish to go, otherwise you’ll have two very upset little girls when you tell them that you can’t go on the date you were planning.  They wouldn’t be quite as upset as Saturday night, but they may start to doubt if you are actually going to take them to the show as you had promised.

Now, if, on the rare chance that you purchase tickets online for a Tuesday as opposed to a Monday, read the refund and exchanges clause on the bottom of your confirmation.  This would be the confirmation clause that states “Fandago does not offer refunds or exchanges so please make sure that you purchase tickets for the correct date and time.  You may contact the theater management to make an exchange but these are not guarunteed.”

Ignore this and attempt to call Fandango, but when you can’t find a telephone number for them, send them a desperate email begging that you be able to refund your tickets.

After hitting send/receive 5 gazillion times and not hearing back from them, attempt to call the theater.  When you hear the busy signal, hang up and immediately call again.  After repeating this process for 30 minutes, grab your purse, keys and children, put them in the car and drive the 2 miles to the movie theater.

Explain to the lady at the counter what happened and that you simply cannot attend the show tomorrow at six and that you need to go tonight at six.  When she tells you that you must contact Fandango to make the exchange, cry out that they cannot help you and point out the clause on your confirmation.

When she appears to be reluctant to help you, start to explain to your 8-year-old that you may not get to see Hannah Montana at all, that you’re terribly sorry, and that you’ll be seeking a better home for her immediately upon your arrival home.

Hopefully, the box office attendant will be sympathetic but be prepared to demand to see a manager.  Don’t let the awareness of a crowd behind you at 2:30 in the afternoon waiting to purchase tickets and only one ticket attendant get the best of you.

As the ticket lady is printing and canceling each ticket one-by-one, huffing as she goes along, don’t feel bad.  This is her job and you’re not the worst customer that she’s had all day.

When she issues you tickets for Monday at 3pm, politely tell her that you need tickets for Monday at 6:00pm, that you can’t possibly attend the next show in 15 minutes because you are “working”.

After she cancels, refunds, and reissues the second set of tickets, thank her greatly and tell her that you will be sending a letter to her manager, call her by name, and then turn around and try to weave in and out of the angry mob behind you that has just now realized that because of your stupid mistake and not knowing how to plan ahead OR read a calendar, they will not have time to get the best seats and popcorn before slipping on their 3D glasses to enjoy the show.

While you’re walking to your car realize that you could’ve saved a lot of time and $6 in processing fees by just driving the 2 miles to the movie theater in the first place, not to mention, the ticket agent could’ve made sure that you were buying the tickets to the right show, thus avoiding the all the trouble that you just went through.

Be very careful to slip the new tickets into your wallet and zip the wallet up so that the tickets will not fall out and under the seat of your car.  If you’re not, you’ll have to risk losing a hand or grabbing something that resembles your oldest child’s science experiment from last semester.

I hope that I’ve answered your question and have set you up for success in purchasing tickets.

Until next time…

Heather

Disclaimer:  While the letter from the reader is fabricated, the response is not and is an actual account of my stupidity.  Sweet Nibblets! 

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