Yet… well, I’m not sure how to formulate it into words.

I’m still chewing on much of what happened this weekend… the way God moved; the way he spoke. Much of the time, I felt as if I were the only one in that collesium, and He was speaking directly to me. I’ve not felt that way since I first attended church over a year ago.

I needed to hear every. single. solitary message that was delivered this weekend.

I needed to hear every. single. solitary song that was sung.

I needed to hear that I can start over at any given moment. I needed to hear that seeking forgivness is all I need to do. I needed to hear that there’s a chance that someone might never come to know Jesus because of me. I needed to hear that so many more are affected by my actions than I think. I needed to hear that I make a difference in the lives of others whether I know it or not. I needed to hear that I am a child of God.

I needed to hear it all.

Let me share with you one of the two most powerful moments for me….

At one point, all of the youth leaders left for a break out session. I was able to talk to other youth leaders and brainstorm some of the obstacles that youth workers face in not only growing their ministries, but in building a solid foundation in the kids that they already minister to.

Before we left that session, the leader said this…

I know that you’re tired. I know that you’re frustrated. I know that it’s tough to juggle your vocation, your ministry, your marriages, your own children and families. I know that you’re facing obstacles whether it be your senior pastors, the parents of the kids in youth, or other members of your congregation. I know that you feel unappreciated. But I also know that you can’t give up.

These kids that you’re working with think that their parents are looking out for them, but that’s not always the case. They think their teachers are looking out for them, but that’s not always true either. For many kids you’re it. You’re the only one standing in the gap for them.

They need you. They may not know that they need you. They may not show their appreciation for you. They many NEVER show you or tell you the impact that you have on their lives, but know that you matter in their lives.

Don’t give up. Don’t think that you can’t do it. Don’t think that this isn’t worth it. Never give up. You wouldn’t have received the call into youth ministry if He didn’t know that you couldn’t handle it.

Don’t EVER give up.

I was ready to hit my knees. I’ve been struggling with some thoughts and feelings on my purpose in youth ministry. I know that God wants me there, but in what role? What am I supposed to be doing? Am I really the example that He wants me to be, and a host of other thoughts on the subject. I’ve been struggling for months with this and now I know. This was simply an attack. I am right where I am supposed to be and I’m not supposed to be discouraged by it. I’m to keep my head up and keep going. I’m to stand firm. I’m to do what I do for the glory of God and for no other reason.

And so that’s what I’ll do….

I’m going to stand in the gap and I’m NEVER going to give up. I believe in those kids…each and every one of them. I know that God has wonderful things in store for them; things that even they can’t imagine. And I pray that I can make a difference in their lives the way that they make a difference in mine.

Until next time…

Standing in the Gap…. Heather

Ezekiel 22:30

  “I looked for a man among them who would build up the wall and stand before me in the gap on behalf of the land so I would not have to destroy it . . . “ 

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