Clean Up in Aisle 10… at Desperately Seeking Sanity

April 28th, 2008

In my 11+ years of mothering my children I have made many grocery store trips. I have had my ankles run over by my children who wish to push the cart and SWEAR they won’t hit anything with it.

I’ve shushed them way too many times because they were being too loud in the store or were arguing.

I’ve calmed crying babies.

I’ve said no to all the sugary cereals (ok, well not ALL of them.)

I’ve allowed them to help pick out fruit and showed them where to find the “clearance” foods.

I’ve pretty much done it all…

except…

…causing a store employee to pipe over the loud speaker that some retard spilled something all over the place.

that is, until Friday night.

And the worst part about it?

I was that retard who caused the spill that required a clean up.

Not my children who were fighting over which $2 12-pack of soda to purchase for the week. Not my children who were not happy to even be at the grocery store. Not my children who argued and pushed one another from the time that we set foot through the electric, motion sensored doors…

No. Not them….

Me.

And it was so careless that I’m embarrassed.

Well, not as embarrassed as I would be if someone actually saw me, but still.

When we still, after 5 minutes, had not come to a conclusion on the carbonated beverage of choice, I grabbed a box of Diet Dr. K. After all, if they couldn’t chose, I would chose for them.

But when I did, I knocked over the Big K that was sitting right next to it.

And when it hit the floor?

Spew. Fizz.

I thought about just walking away. It was such a little leak that surely the next person would report it. I mean, no one was there to see that I had caused the spill.

And really? That box looked like it had been through the mill and had been on the shelf for a gazillion years, so no one was going to buy it anyway.

But, the kids were there. And if I EVER found out that they broke something and didn’t report it, I would skin their hides. So I felt it was best to find a store employee and let them know what I had done.

Except I didn’t have to. Samara darted off before I could process the direction in which I wanted to move.

I waited to hear those dreadful words on the loud speaker, but when Samara returned, they still hadn’t proclaimed that some doofus knocked a box of soda over in aisle 10.

Thinking that she got lost and never actually told someone, I asked her, “Did you tell some one?”

“Yes.” She replied.

Still no word from the overhead voices.

“Well, what did you tell them?” Knowing her, she probably just darted up and said there’s a spill and darted off.

Very loudly, with new inhabitants of aisle 10 within earshot she said, “I told them that my mom had a meltdown in aisle 10 and now there’s a huge puddle of the cheap soda all over the floor.”

And at that moment, I heard it.

“Clean up in aisle 10″

Until next time…

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Filed under According to Samara, Manly Man Matthew, Mom Stuff, No Way... |

10 Responses to “Clean Up in Aisle 10…”

TC
Posted: Apr 28th, 2008 at 9:20 am

I am so happy that I stumbled upon you blog last week. this story is PRICELESS…LMAO

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Crazy Daisy
Posted: Apr 28th, 2008 at 9:47 am

LOL! Great story! I’m so happy to have found your blog through the bloggy giveaways!

Crazy Daisy’s last blog post..Bloggy Giveaway Winner AND 100th POST Surprise!

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Sally Kuhlman
Posted: Apr 28th, 2008 at 10:33 am

ROFL - gotta love Samara!

Sally Kuhlman’s last blog post..Blog Of The Week (Week 9) - Desperately Seeking Sanity

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Ang
Posted: Apr 28th, 2008 at 11:24 am

“Mom had a meltdown…” you sure you don’t have one of my kids??
Grocery nightmares are why I love Giant Eagle stores!! They have a play place for the kids! Sign them in, go shop all by your lonesome, sign them back out on your way out the door!! Shopping w/o your head spinning and blowing off- what a treat!!
–yes you do actually have to pick them back up and take them home
Ang’s last blog post..Oh internet,

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Melissa
Posted: Apr 28th, 2008 at 12:52 pm

I love that part about the “meltdown” - maybe she’s psychic, since it almost did cause a meltdown after it happened.

Melissa’s last blog post..On being an involved parent

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katklaw777
Posted: Apr 28th, 2008 at 4:45 pm

I am really surprised at you. You call yourself a “retard” that is a slur to mentally retarded people. I had been enjoying reading your blog, now I am ashamed of you. That was not a nice thing to say and you should have known better. If my kids said something like that I would be heartbroken, but you an adult should know better. Shame on you!!

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Heather
Posted: Apr 28th, 2008 at 5:16 pm

Author Comment

I in no way, shape or form wish to start a debate, however, I appreciate your opinion on the words that I used in my post. It is never my intent to offend someone, however, I base much of what I write on whether or not it would be offensive to me. I am the mother of a child who spent many years in the special education program. This child has a heart for those who are mentally and physically disabled. And I’ve even blogged about this heart when dealing with these children.

If I had used that word in regards to another person, I could better see the offensiveness of the word. However, I was poking fun at myself and myself only. I think that you’ll find on my blog that I have rarely ever made fun of someone else.

Again, I appreciate your honesty. I do hope that you will continue to read my blog, however, I understand if you do not.

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