But first, let me say…

You can blame me for all the rain and storms as I just washed my car…

You can blame me for the spike in gas prices, because I just bought a car that has a bigger gas tank…

You can blame me for your child’s meltdown last night… because, well… we were on a roll.

Now that I have that out of the way, let’s answer some more questions. (And before I forget, I did promise a little prize to one person who asked a question. I’ll leave it open until tonight at midnight and I’ll announce the winner on my last day of questions… that could be tomorrow, it could be Monday, but please keep me busy. I won’t be leaving the house because I can’t afford to… and it’s too wet. And I know… it’s all my fault.)

Sadly, I don’t have a video today. I’m sorry. I’ll try to find some other way to make a complete fool out of myself over the weekend. I’m sure it won’t take long.

FranticallySimple asks:

What’s your kriptonite? …Criptonite? Thing that makes you feel powerless…

It’s Kryptonite, but I don’t take off for spelling. And the only reason that I know this is because Superman was on last night, and I don’t care who you are, Superman? Hot.

But my kryptonite? Hmmm… well there are a few things that just make me powerless. And when I first read this question, the thing that popped in my head first was a kiss. But not just any kiss. You know the kiss that I’m talking about… the one that curls your toes and makes you feel like you’re 5 feet off the ground?

Yeah, that kind.

Plant one one me (men only please) like that and I’m putty in your hands. I’ll even stop talking. Which I’m sure is why some of the men in my past have kissed me, just to shut me up. Whatever, I don’t care. And what I’ve found is that not all men can kiss like that, which is a shame. But the ones that can? Forget it.

And the reason that I say this makes me powerless is because there have been a few guys in my past that I KNEW were wrong for me, and every time I would try to say “see ya wouldn’t wanna be ya” they would kiss me and somehow I couldn’t get those words out of my mouth. Made for some long, drawn out, horrible relationships.

But there are a few other items of kryptonite in my life. My son’s tears. Forget it. If that child cries I want to jump through hoops to make him smile and will stop at nothing to do so. There’s just something about it. Even the BFF went through this while she was here watching my kids. (And she handled it fabulously!) I can’t say this about my daughter’s tears because those happen all.the.time. and she’s a manipulator so I have to stop and determine if they are real or fake. I still hate to see any of them cry, regardless of the reason they are crying. Even if it is because I won’t let her have mountain dew at 10 at night.

And sob stories. I’m a sucker for a sob story. Just ask Soliloquy. I probably shouldn’t tell you this or you’ll all come crying but seriously? Give me a good sob story and I will bend over backwards to help you out, whether I can really afford to or not. I will find a way.

Call me a sucker. It’s okay, I’m aware of this.

Kari says:

Ok, I am totally new to your blog here…so in 5 sentences or less…tell me what is MOST important that I know about you!

5 sentances? Are you serious? These don’t count do they? Of course not, it’s my blog and I will determine when my 5 sentences start… which would be right here.

I am a single mom of two biological children and 15 “adopted” teenagers who try my patience and my faith daily but bring me more joy than anything else in the world. I’m a child of a very humorous God who leads me through life blessing others by way of laughter and through the use of the internet, I’ve been able to bless more people than I could possibly imagine. I’m live my life in the corporate rat race of television sales, while working from home in addition to having a few internet ventures on the side which I call my paid hobbies. I’m a thinker, dreamer, and visionary but I miss the mark when aligning myself with Mother Theresa, Betty Crocker and Martha Stewart which is okay as I’m a firm believer that one day, God will put a man in my life who will fill the role of all three while I sit by the pool sipping margaritas or on my couch eating bon bons. But most importantly, I am a certified dork and I love it that way because while I may have responsibilities of a grown up, and fulfill those responsibilities to the best of my ability, I will never, ever grow up.

That’s 5 sentences. You didn’t say they couldn’t be run ons. I like to tow the line, ya know. Oh and the whole, “find a man to do it all for me” thing? I’m kidding about that. If he just has patience and can assist me in the areas of cooking and cleaning, he’ll be fine. And I’m not a big bon bon fan. And I don’t have a pool. I do, however, LOVE LOVE LOVE margaritas.

Catnip asks:

Hmmm. This is my first time here so I know nothing about you. Tell me what is the one post in your archives I MUST read? (and I will!)

Hmmm… this is a good question and I’m so bad when it comes to these types of questions. It’s like asking me where I want to go for dinner. My ADHD brain kicks in and I can’t determine where because there are so many and I want to go to them all.

But with my posts? About a month ago, I started realizing that there were certain posts that were insanely funny or very deep on my emotions and were difficult for me to write, but showed the true Heather. (That was the dumbest thing I’ve ever said as everything on this blog is the true Heather.) I created “insanity at it’s best” so that I could let new readers know which ones were a must read so they could see the many faces of Heather. So I’m going to go look at that list and determine which one you most definitely HAVE to read.

Ok, I just read all of them again, and I can’t give you one and the reason is simple. Some of them are very serious and some of them are spit-beverage-on-your-computer hysterical, so I have to give you two, and I would love it if you would read both, but if you don’t that’s okay. What’s another hour in therapy?

In the serious category… What Would Have Been…

In the funny category… How To Put on a Funeral… in Pictures

I’m still going back and forth on these, but I have things to do today and I cant be blogging all day. (Ok, I can… but I really shouldn’t!)

Krissi asks:

Well, I wanna know just how desperate you are, and what exactly are your intentions when you find sanity? ‘Cause I personally think INSANE is better than SANE.

I guess it’s all in how you view the words insane and sane. Yes, I like being “insane” when you qualify that as off the wall, goofy, stop at nothing to make people laugh… but there’s that whole “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results” that I’m trying to avoid.

But there was a reading in a book called Hope For Today that made me define the sanity that I want and this is what it states…

“I longed for balance, for a feeling of normalcy that might help me feel safe and connected to others…I came to believe that God could lead me to a saner way of life. I surrended, asked for help, and relied on my Higher Power to restore me to sanity. The answer to my plea was to learn how to live the Serenity Prayer.”

But the Serenity Prayer that I live by is this.

God, grant me serenity to accept the people I cannot change, courage to change the ones I can and wisdom to know it’s me.

And sanity and serenity coincide with me and this is something else that I love from that same book.

Serenity is…

…a way of life absorbed slowly and practiced one day at a time…perspective…becoming aware of and accepting my many characteristics and not judging what’s “bad” or “good” but what’s useful to keep and what to release…a spiritual journey without a destination…the space between impulse and the action… accepting what is …honoring my feelings without aiming them at someone else or letting them run my life…a gift I choose to give to myself…knowing that what works for someone else may not necessarily work for me… knowing that what works for me may change from moment to moment…understanding I may be powerless, but I’m not helpless…

…realizing my Higher Power does for me what I cannot do for myself… minding my own business… the comfort of knowing I can hold my own hand… balance and relief from black-and-white thinking… understanding that reacting to life and responding to life are not the same thing…deliberate realignment with my Higher Power… feeling at peace with my past.. a matter of internal stability… becoming a complete being with my body and mind in one place at the same time…becoming one with my Higher Power.

As a former member of Al-Anon, that book got me through so much, and truth be told, when I saw this question and those passages popped into my head, I had to go get the book out of the yard sale box. I’m thinking I’ll hold on to it.

So to answer your question, I don’t think I’ll ever find true sanity or serenity, because I do see it as a journey. And yes, I do like being insane… most of the time.

So that’s all for today… or at least for right now…

Next time, we’ll discuss how I balance it all (ha ha), my summer plans, and my writing influences….

I’m sure you’ll want to miss it, but don’t. Because it would hurt and my one hour of therapy here and one hour of therapy there will all add up. And that $20 co-pay still sucks.

Until next time…

Filed under Care to Share?, Dorks R Us, Faith, Grins and Giggles, Heather's Quirks |