Welcome Heather who’s manning the store for me today…

Heather readily admits that she’s a bad cook.  Her son Matthew even makes fun of her cooking.  So when this came across my e-mail, I immediately thought of her.

When she asked for guest bloggers to fill in while she’s away, I knew this would be the perfect post to share with her readers.  If I posted this on my blog, only she and I would enjoy it.  Now, we can all enjoy laughing at with Heather.

Ironically, when I let Heather know that I had the “perfect” post to share with her wonderful readers, I commented that “no, it’s not about  NKOTB, but good guess!”  She e-mailed to say that a post about NKOTB would be awesome,”not that what you have cooked up wouldn’t be!”  Cooked up!  Ha!  How funny!

So here’s to you, Heather.  An Ode to Your Cooking Skills.

Your kitchen’s been on fire more than once.

You have the fire department on speed dial.

Your apple pie bubbled over and ate through your heating element.

Your homemade bread is used as a door stop.

Leftover crumbs can be used as kitty litter replacement.

You forgot that you left a gallon of your homemade ice cream on the porch during a record-setting heat wave and the next day not only was it still solid, but it tasted better.

The EPA requires you to put bio-hazard symbols on your trash cans.

Your family buys Alka Seltzer and Pepto Bismol in bulk.

Your microwave display says “TILT.”

Your two best recipes are meatloaf and apple pie, but no one can tell which is which.

Your family heads to the dining room table every time they hear a fire engine siren.

You’ve used a drill and a crowbar, and *still* can’t get the macaroni and cheese out of the pan.

Your family prays AFTER the meal.

***

Now, go see Heather, because she’s funny… and I just find it funny that people would get something in their email and think of me… or that this situation played out as well as it did…

and don’t forget, all comments left on guest blogger’s posts gets you a chance to win a copy of More Than It Hurts You by Darin Strauss.

Until next time…

Hey y’all. It’s Soliloquy, guest blogging this afternoon for Heather. It’s the least I owe her.

Two worlds collided in Atlanta yesterday when She Just Had To Say It met Desperately Seeking Sanity for the first time in person.

And it was as almost as right as right could be, except for the absence of adult beverages, chocolate and peanut butter or oh say ….. air conditioning.

Other than that it was splendid.

As I suspected, Heather is the same in person as she is on her blog, and perhaps even better.

I thought I had already tested the boundaries of her long-suffering with the depth of my Wordpress ineptness (is that a word?), but Heather proved her imperturbable nature as she tailed my erratic lead through the labyrinth that is downtown Atlanta.

Wanting to give her kids an authentic “Atlanta experience”, we ate lunch at the Varsity. It was greasy, chaotic, loud and did I mention greasy?

Mmmmm! Nothing says nostalgic yum like anything fried.

“What’ll Ya’ Have??”

My brilliant mind had planned to then head down to Centennial Olympic Park to play in the water fountains. I was looking forward to sending the kids off to contract hand and foot disease romp in the water, so Heather and I could sit in the shade and chat.

Except not so much.

Because Atlanta’s in a freakin’ drought…. and the use of water for entertainment apparently didn’t make the “necessary uses” cut.

I think I could argue that last point rather decisively in very few words. Atlanta’s. Sweltering. Humidity. Helloooo??

The blistering heat really cut our time short. Nothing says “fast friendship” like melting together in the blazing sun. I get crabby in torrid conditions, but I was able to maintain my composure. (I was going to say I was able to maintain my cool, but it seemed a rather inappropriate use of the word considering the 2,000 degree Fahrenheit readout on my car thermometer….)

Heather warned me that she’d been agonizing over what to wear…. but when she saw it she knew she had to wear it. Just for me. Can you read what her shirt says?

No one cares about your blog!

Nice.

I’m no one’s fool, Heather. Really. How do you think you earned the title “Techy Fairy Godmother”??

Oh, and when I call her that, she’s very clear that she does NOT want to be perceived as this:

I’m hoping this is more along the lines of what she had in mind for herself:

So, I know you’re wondering how she got the name.

By dropping everything every time I call to fix whatever I’ve broken - or by redefining everything for me into single syllable words.

She’s so into holding my hand…. ours has really become something of a co-dependent relationship, I believe.

Heather is like, freakishly smart when it comes to Wordpress. I’m not asking any questions about what I have done to earn her favor, but I am takin’ what she’s got to offer.

Bobbity-boo, baby.

I’ve got her on retainer. For real.

You do care about my blog, Heather. Admit it.

She so cares about my blog, y’all.

And if you want her to care about your blog too, check out her Desperately Seeking Wordpress services. You’d better get in quick though, before you know, she’s SOMEBODY got a waiting list.

And no. I’m not on commission.

Okay. I’m done here. Guest blogging: Check.

I’ve got packing and my own blog to attend to now, before I am gone for a week.

No guest bloggers for this girl.

I don’t know, I guess that’s what happens when no one really cares about your blog.

Signing off for….

Well, I think it’s cool.

A few days ago, I was talking to Soliloquy and I shared my story about how I got stuck in Atlanta overnight last year while traveling and I got to see my kids… and how awesome God was.

Well, I was just sitting here and realized that I was in Atlanta the June 27th and 28th last year and guess what?

It’s June 28th and if all went according to plan, I’m in Atlanta right now…

again, with my kids.

But this time it’s planned.  And I won’t have to deal with the airport.  Just two kids, fresh home from summer camp and a 2.5 day trip to Mississippi.

But no security checks and I get to meet Soliloquy.

If you’re interested, you can read the stories that came about…

Travel Adventures

In the Midst of it All

Layovers, Cancellations and God

I hope you’re enjoying the guest posts… I am.  It makes me think I should just turn my blog over to others all the time…

Until next time…

Please welcome Cathy from Mommy Motivation and my new contributor at Desperately Seeking Wordpress…

Heather here is so funny.  I’m….. not-so-much.  She works with youth at her church.  I’m terrified of young people.  She works from home.  I don’t work.  It has been 4 years approximately, since my last job, and since that time I’ve been lounging around in my muumuu dress eating bonbons, and enjoying daytime tv.  Except for this one part about three years ago.

We (dh & I) sold our home, packed our belongings, our two girls, and moved 12 hours away by car.  No family; no friends; no church; no job (for me).  I was 6 months pregnant.  A while into this “adjustment”, with a 3 month old baby, and full-blown post partum depression, I was back-stabbed by my Pastor(don’t even go there!); we lost all our support and community of friends.

On another note, my husband was very symptomatic of malnourishment.  He was gaining weight in his middle area; constantly hungry, couldn’t keep any food in him (like a 24 hour flu, 24 hours a day every day).  He was anemic and had decalcifying teeth.  Thank goodness for our very attentive doctor who figured that anemia and red-meat-eating males just don’t mix.  Turns out he has celiac disease.  And his intestines are nearly dead.  The pain, I’m told, is excruciating.  Making for a very sick, very grumpy husband some days.  He’s probably more like Heather than I am actually – not the grumpy, the celiac.  ;)  By this time I had a psychiatrist, doctor, mid-wife, community nurse, and counselor watching me.  But I was FINE.  (F****-up, Insecure, Neurotic, and Emotional).  Sometime around then a leaf probably fell in my path or something, and I lost it.  I was admitted to a psychiatric treatment facility where medication became my friend.  And also about this time, my parents decided to get divorced.  How weird is that - life keeps going in the middle of MY crisis?

I hit bottom.  I.could.not.do.it.  I just couldn’t.  I was done. Over. Finis.

So you’d think I operate the blog – How I got better,  but then you’d completely underestimate my level of insanity!  Desperately Seeking Sanity brought me here, and as it turns out, Heather(I’ve forgiven her for not really being insane) is actually a really nice person.  I’m seeking sanity too – just more discretely.  Ahem.  I actually operate “Mommy Motivation” where I vent, and blab, and share and build a record of stuff that motivates and encourages me.  All with a good dose of humor (from others, not to worry).  Oh, guess what?  I wanted a new kitchen table a couple months ago, and God gave [FREE]me one!  A gorgeous old oak heritage type round table. I love it.  And I’m amazed at a God that cares about my kitchen table!   That was off topic – but how cool is that?

At Mommy Motivation there is no perfection allowed!   I’m SOOOO not about “Martha”, or “I’m-the-perfect-happy-mommy.  Lucky-me” types.  Ugg.  That just makes me want to slap somebodything.  Unfortunately, I live in the real world.  Where life isn’t easy, and I need a very big God.  I’d love to have you join me over there: offer your motivators or encouraging stuff.  Especially if you’re really desperately seeking sanity!

Muaw,

Cathy

Cathy Tibbles
Mommy Motivation
Strawberries are Gluten Free.Com

***

Go say hi to Cathy, and don’t forget, all comments left on guest blogger’s posts gets you a chance to win a copy of More Than It Hurts You by Darin Strauss.

And check back tomorrow because Soliloquy will be here to tell you all about our meet up!

Until next time…

Please welcome Kelsey from My Sweet Life…

We were at the park and I overheard a mother talking to another women about how gifted her little Jimmy is. She went on and on about how Jimmy can count, write his name and get this pee in the potty. Yes these are signs of a true gifted child. I looked up to see Jimmy on the playground he was trying to climb up the slide but right when he hit the top he fell down and landed on his butt which lead to mass amounts of hysteria because his butt was dirty. Yup poor Jimmys butt was dirty! Call int he coast guard this could be bad.

This made me chuckle because well Dennis can count- but he skips the letter 7 he says that he is a murder* and the counting goes all the way up to well 8. He can write their name- not legibly but he says its his name so we believe him. He can even pee- I know shocking but hes been doing it pretty well for 4 years. But you know what else he can do? Climb up a slide in socks. I know I know he must be a prodigy or something. What you don’t believe that he could be a prodigy? I can show you:

“Dennis you are so silly sometimes” I joked.
“NO I AM NOT! I am NOT silly! I AM TURKISH AMERICAN DENNIS! NOT SILLY!” He screamed

Well I think he is ready for Yale we will just leave off the fact that he is now running around with underwear on his head, socks on his hands and his feet in buckets. That may not impress the Dean of Yale.

***

Go visit Kelsey… :D  and don’t forget, all comments left on guest blogger’s posts gets you a chance to win a copy of More Than It Hurts You by Darin Strauss.

I think I’m kinda packed.  It’s tough.  I have to take work clothes and play clothes.  And I have to pack our things for this weekend in an overnight bag so I don’t have to lug the suitcase in and out of the hotel.  And since I’m meeting Soliloquy on Saturday, I have to have something nice to wear.  And I don’t wear shorts, so I guess I’ll need to pull out my best capris.. she’s stylish ya know…

It’s almost as bad as when I met Jo-Lynne for the first time.  I learned alot of lessons from Jo-Lynne that I will take with me through future bloggy meetups for a long time.

As it stands right now, I get to meet 3 bloggers on my little trip… isn’t that cool?

So anywho, I’ve got the clothes packed.  I just need a few clean outfits for the kids.  I started a list, but I lost it.  And I have all these errands to run tomorrow.

Do you think 9 pairs of shoes is too many to take for a 13 day trip?

You’ll pleased to know all of the laundry is done and put away (in the laundry basket in my room).

Ok, so maybe you’re not pleased to know, but I’m pleased that it at least got that far.

My itinerary?  We’ll make it to Duncan, SC tomorrow night… and to Birmingham by Saturday night after having fun in Atlanta… and Jackson by lunch time on Sunday.  I’m excited.

But tonight?  I had dinner at my friend’s house (second time this week because she cooks well) and our other friend was there and they were trying all this makeup on me.  I found a new lip color.  I wanted to show the BFF and took a funny picture.  She has my login for the blog.  I’m willing to bet that picture will circulate before too long.

And then I came home and I was packing and folding and folding and packing and searching the house for the match to my favorite brown wedges and I sat down to see if there were any blog posts in my must read’s folder and guess what?

NKOTB is coming to Charlotte.  So I called up the friend who feeds me and she wants to go.  So guess who’s going to see them again?  I say this now… the tickets go on sale on July 18th at 10am, but I’ll be at BlogHer… but, that’s 7am San Fran time so uh, it’s quite possible that I could still get tickets before heading to the confernece.  (Sally will think I’m crazy.)

Ok, so… I feel like I’m going to the abyss and won’t have internet access, but I will.  But am looking forward to a little break… and I’ve already posted something for Saturday and it’s really cool… that’s why I had to post it.  And I might check in from time to time, but I feel confident in the hands that I’ve left you in while I’m gone…

Here’s who will be filling in for me…

Karen @ Simply A Musing

Susanna @ The Wardrobe Miser

Heather @ Age 30 - A Year of Books

Kelsey @ My Sweet Life

Cathy @ Mommy Motivation

Soliloquy @ She Just Had To Say It

Heather @ Not a DIY Life

Becki @ Introverts.net

Lisa B @ simply His

Marsha @ Family Adventures

Lizz @ Yes, and So Is My Heart

that Chick @ Jason. For the Love of God.

Jaime @ Chase N Kids

Kim @ Rainy Day Diamonds

AND….

Remember how I told you about More Than It Hurts You by Darin Strauss?  Well, he left a comment here thanking me for my kind words and somehow we engaged in a conversation of sorts through email, and I might have mentioned that I didn’t want to give away my copy but I wanted to have a giveaway and so he, being AWESOME, is sending me another one so that I can have a giveaway… and in typical Heather fashion, instead of just saying thank you, I had to gush and try to be funny because I’m talking to a real live author… sometimes I wonder about me…

anywho, my point.

I’m giving away a copy of Darin’s book.  A brand new one, not one that I read.  So…. to enter, guess what you have to do?  Leave a comment on ANY of the posts by one of my guest bloggers.  Leave a comment every day?  You’re entered to win, every day.  Seriously.  Because I want my guest bloggers to know that you love them too!  And make sure that you visit all of them. And say hi.  Because we play nice here.

Ok, I’m off like a cheap prom dress… love you, miss you, see you soon…

Until next time…

No, it’s not the getting there or coming home.

It’s not layovers at the airport (even though we’re driving now)…

it’s the freaking LAUNDRY.

Now…

It’s my fault.  I’ll take the blame.

I did all the kids’ laundry before they left.  All washed, folded, put away.

But mine?

I didn’t need it last Saturday… so I just pushed that to the side.  Clothing my kids was important and a priority.

And I’ve had FOUR days to do my laundry.  FOUR.  Four days that I could easily pop the clothes in the washer while I work, fold clothes while I’m on conference calls, or while I was watching TV.  (Yes, there are distinct benefits to working from home.)

But I didn’t.

And now I’m doing laundry.  So that I don’t have to go into the office naked next week.  (Well, I do have some new clothes, but… that’s besides the point…)

And what’s worse?  I have to do laundry while I’m in Mississippi, twice.  Once to wash the clothes they are bringing home from camp and then once again before we leave so they have clean clothes to take to Nana’s and Papaw’s.

I hate laundry.

Until next time…

It seems to me that I’ve used that title before, but who really knows…

I don’t… there have been over 600 titles in the past 18 months and for me to be original and unique every single time is… well… i just don’t think that it’s possible…

So…

First, let’s talk about the bachelorette.  Are you watching?  What do you think?  I’ve been a Jason fan since day 1.  I have a thing for single dads.  Deanna was right… you don’t have to worry about what kind of father they would be or if they like kids, because you already know.

But… I liked Jesse because he’s different.  And I’ve started to like him more and more.

Jeremy?  I do not like at all.  I don’t like his personality.  I don’t like him.  Period.  He’s too “perfect”… however, he seems to be, as Deanna stated, the type of guy that she goes for.

I don’t feel for Graham… I’m glad he’s gone.  The hometown date was awkward for me to watch, so I know it had to be weird for her and I’m sure the only reason that Deanna continued to fall for him is because she can’t have him, all of him.  Because that’s what we women do.  We want what we can’t have.

So next week, I want Jeremy to go home, but I fear that he will win the whole thing and I will be pissed because someone else picked the wrong person.  I do it to myself with every single reality show that I watch.

And after watching the Bachelorette yesterday, I took one of my youth group gals to get her nails done.  And then we went shopping.  Because guess what?

I have to be in an office for two weeks and because I work from home, my “work” clothes are limited.  And I’m pretty sure that showing up in my PJs or jeans and a tee-shirt is not an option.  So we met up with her mother and we flew through Cato because it was late.  Bless the women who were working.  I got there 15 minutes before closing and they told me to take my time.  We were out 30 minutes later (after I locked myself out of the dressing room twice) with 4 new tops and a pair of pants.

It was a riot I tell you.  I laughed so hard.  And I hate to try on clothes.. but when you’re with your friend… who will put things back on the hanger for you and go and get you a different size and tell you whether you look amazing or like a fat cow in something, it’s so much more enjoyable.

So, now I’m set to go to work… and BlogHer.. because that is in 24 days… TWENTY FOUR… and I’m so excited.  I just need a purse.  To hold my stuff.  Oh and business cards.  Because I don’t have any.

And there was something else that I wanted to talk about that fit in with the random theme, but I can’t remember what it was because I’ve been interrupted no less than a gazillion times since I started this post…

so, I guess I’ll end here… but not before mentioning that there are new posts up at Desperately Seeking WordPress and I’ll have a list of guest bloggers up tomorrow so you can see who will be hijacking the blog while I’m gone… be prepared, I think a few will be poking fun at me, which honestly?  Is the best way to show your love for me.

Until next time…

Sometimes I look at the standards that my kids have set for themselves and wonder if they will always have them.

For example, let’s take time away from home…

Matthew calls regularly to check in, just to say hi, and to tell me what he’s doing.  Sam never does unless she needs to ask permission (which, yes, I am grateful that she’s asking permission.)

Matthew goes to the teen center quite often now that he’s old enough.  He calls when he arrives and he calls when he leaves because I’ve allowed him the responsibilty to walk the .4 miles door to door.  He also calls to tell me how many people have signed up for the pool tournament, what place he came in, that he’s having dinner and what he’s eating.  I like it.

Samara?  Not so much.  I guess she’s just glad to be away from me for some breathing room.

And on the matter of being home on time they are like night and day.  8:00pm for Samara means 8:05 or a phone call at 8:00 begging me to stay out just a little bit longer.

Matthew is very concerned with time.  He HATES to be late.  It will send him into meltdown mode immediately if I cause him to be late for something.

And the teen center?  Totally his currancy right now.

At 1:30, like clockwork, he begins to get his chores done.  He’s finished by 2:30 at the latest and that’s when he begins gathering his items to take to the teen center…the secondary cell phone, his wallet, his money for food or activities and puts his shoes on.

He is ready to walk out the door at 2:45 because he knows that the center opens at 3 and in order to secure a spot on the Wii, he needs to be there early.  He also knows that it takes exactly 15 minutes to walk there.

The first day I allowed him to walk unaccompanied, he called me when he got there.  I asked him how long it took and he said 15 minutes.  I told him that he needed to be home at 5.

He called at 4:46.  I remember looking at the clock.  He walked in the door at 4:55 and I said to him… “Hey Matthew… it only took you 9 minutes to get home.”

And his response blew me over.

“Mom… it takes 15 minutes to get home and I left at 4:47 and I was afraid I would be late so I ran part of the way.”

And so I wonder… will he always be on time and she always late?

I have to guess yes, because I?  Am always late.  I always have been.

But I so admire those, like Matthew, who are always on time.

Until next time…

I’m going to be gone for a little while… and while I would love to entertain the idea that I would be able to post ona  somewhat regular basis while I’m gone, let’s be honest… I probably won’t be able to.

I will be IN AN OFFICE all day.  I can’t tell you the last time that I’ve been in an office every day for an extended period of time.  This is bigger than any business trip that I’ve ever taken.

And in the evenings?  I’d like to spend some time with my kids, perusing what Jackson has to offer and lounging by the pool.

I really WANT this to be a vacation for US when I’m not working.

However, the thought of leaving this blog unattended for two weeks would kill me.  KILL. ME.

It’s sad, I know.

But here’s where I need your help…

Would any of you be willing to guest blog for me while I’m gone?

I’ll leave the topic up to you… I would just need your post by Friday at noon, my time and I know that it’s a quick turnaround time, but I know that you can do it.

I do have a handful lined up already, but I need a few more.

So can ya help a sista out? Leave a comment and let me know…

I can’t promise you anything other than a link back to your site and a postcard from Mississippi if you provide me with your mailing address…

**updated** i’ve got my bloggers…. but never fear, I’ll need more help in the future!!!  Thanks for all who answered the call!!  list coming soon!**

Until next time…