Today we celebrate Father’s Day… and by we, I mean all single mothers. The reason? Most of us have taken on additional roles, some of them ones that we aren’t necessarily cut out to do. We “take one for the team” when it comes to our kids and while you may hear us say, “That’s a man thing!” the reality of it is, it’s our thing — whether we like it or not.

No, we don’t get to use the great lines of “Go ask your father” or threaten “Wait until your father gets home” because it’s just us. No one else is coming home for them to wait on. (I tried it once on my kids and they laughed out loud!)

Even though I am actively seeking someone else to explain the birds and the bees to my son, I am grateful for the things that I have learned by taking on the fathering role.

For example, when my son began playing football, I was clueless from where the pads went to how the game was played. But I learned quick! We stumbled around the first time I had to get him dressed for practice with all those pads, but now? I’m an old pro. And on Sunday afternoons during football season… we’re on the couch… cheering on the Redskins, together.

Along the lines of football, I was unsure of how to act on the football field. How uncool is it to have your mom kissing you as you put your helmet on? I noticed the other fathers getting in their sons’ faces and telling them to put their game face on. So now, I make my muscles and grunt in Matthew’s direction. He always laughs, but grunts back. At least he humors me.

And then there’s taking Matthew to purchase his first, er, um, athletic supporter. I was shocked when they told me he needed one as he’s got nothing to support (I’m sure when he’s 25, he’ll love knowing that I’ve told the world that he’s got nothing to support….) but come on now! He’s 10. After speaking to several males, they agreed that the family jewels must be protected. (What is it with you guys?)

Off to Dick’s I take him (yes, I’m chuckling too…). I have his younger sister in tow and I mention that we’re going to buy him a cup. Apparently my father has already explained this to him (Thanks Dad! Love ya and I owe ya!) and all I have to do is figure out what size he wears… sounds easy, right?

I send his sister off to look at something else while we decide what to purchase and he’s mortified (ask my brother…he’ll tell you how uncool it is to purchase your first cup with your mother!) Is he a small? Medium? Certainly not a large. Of course when you say that he just lowers his head as if he’s embarrassed to be seen with me. He escaped unscathed and as a side note, because it’s so hilarious… we get in the car and his younger sister jumps up from the back seat and asks, “Did we get the glass for Matt’s penis?” Get it? Glass? Cup?

But I digress…

My time is spent between making dinner and playing catch. We put together legos and we dig up stumps. We do all the things that fathers and sons and fathers and daughters do. Just because we’re dealt this hand doesn’t mean that our kids have to suffer.

And I have to be honest…I suck at being a father, but I try. Because I know that my children have certain needs, especially my son. I feel bad some days because I know that I’m just not cutting it. But I know that he knows I mean well. (And then he talks about me to my dad and how I “do it wrong.”)

So today, I would like to wish all the single mothers out there a very happy father’s day! You’re doing a phenomenal job!

Originally posted June 16th, 2007

Until next time…

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