Can I tell you how much I’ve gotten done since yesterday when I shipped my kids off?

ALOT.

And before you get all…”you work too much, Heather” on me, let me tell you what I did BESIDES work….

I finished a book.

I started another one.

I went for ice cream with one of my friends and her daughters.

I went grocery shopping with said friend and daughters.

I had dinner at their house.

And I worked.

Working was always the plan this week.  My trip to Mississippi for two weeks, while it will be a vacation of sorts for the kids and I is a working trip for me.  I have a MASSIVE training schedule to put together.  MASSIVE as in six days of training and I couldn’t seem to find the time to sit down and work on it, uninterrupted.

But today, I got the drafts of days one through three off to my boss.  And days 4-6 are cake.  And I’m starting to feel not so nervous about it all.

But I miss my kids.  It’s weird.  I’m so glad that it’s quiet and that I’ve been able to focus on what needs to be done, but I keep wanting to ask them about parts of our trip.  And they aren’t here to do that.

But what I really want to know is if they’re having fun… even though I know that they are.  I want to know what they did today.  I want to know about the people they’ve met.  I want to know what dinner is like at camp and if it’s improved since I went to camp 22 years ago.

I want to know who won the cleanest bunk award today.  I want to know what songs they sang at chapel.  I want to know if they have everything they need or if I forgot something.

I want to know these things.  And I can’t know them until they get home.

I do know that Sam swam today and that she’s having fun with her friend… the only other girl from church that went.  But I only know that because the friend is homesick, and after Pastor Man called her, she called me to ask me if she was a bad mom for making her stick it out and relaying what Pastor Man said.  I told her she wasn’t.

I guess I’m just so used to them being connected when they are away… either phone, cell, or email… and now they aren’t.

But how awesome is it that they are learning that they won’t DIE without these techonological inventions?

I think sometimes I need to be reminded of that too.

So tonight, I’m going to bed… but first, I’m going to read more of “They Told Me There’d Be Cake” that I won last month in a contest at Soliloquy’s blog.

And tomorrow?

I’m going to work.  And maybe I’ll find something to do in the evening for me.

And think about my kids… and wonder about all the stuff they are doing… and if they miss me half as much as I miss them…

Until next time…

Totally Shameless…

TOTALLY…

But I mentioned that I was working on some pretty exciting stuff and as as result, I have a new blog.

There’s more to all that’s going on.  And I can’t wait to share it all with you.  Don’t you hate when people do that to you?  Yeah, me too. 

So… there you go.

Desperately Seeking Wordpress

Until next time…

Do you hear that?

Silence.

And it’s weird.

Really. Really. Wierd.

I was the odd parent out today as we shipped 10 youngin’s off to summer camp.  There were tears.  There were looks of worry, wondering if their children would be okay for 5 days.

But not me.

I was the excited one.

For two reasons.  1 - my kids are going to have an AWESOME time.  It’s an experience that I can’t personally give them.  They are going to meet new people, new friends, and make memories that they will carry with them for the rest of their lives.  They are going to learn more about the AWESOME God that we serve… they are going to grow stronger in their faith and seeds will be planted.  I’m so excited for them.

But 2 - I am going to have some space.  Some much needed space.  I have a lot to get done this week to prepare for our trip to Mississippi and there’s going to be time for me to focus on that.

Don’t get me wrong, I love being here with the kids during the summer.  I have an opportunity that not all single mothers have.  And I love it.  But my work schedule needed some adjusting to incoporate them and my days and nights are all screwed up.

I just assumed other parents would look forward to the quiet as well.  So when I left church this afternoon I started to feel bad about the fact that I was so excited about it.

I started questioning whether or not I was a “bad mom” or a “selfish mom” for wanting some time for me…. for my work actually as I have no plans right now to do anything social.  I just wanted some time for me.

But when I walked in the house, a storm brewing outside, I realized just how quiet it was.

And then the storm hit… lightening, thunder, hail… and it was scary.  But it was nice to sit on my porch and not have to calm fears.

But it sucked because I had no one to hollar into and yell, “Come check this out!”

Unfortunately, the dog and the cat don’t care.

But they’re gone.  I have 5 whole days where I can work on my schedule.  I have things that I want to knock out. I have things that I want to get done.  And I’m excited.

And the only thing that I AM really bummed about?

I have to wait until Friday to hear all of the cool things that they did.

But they’ll have all weekend in the car to share them with me.

Until next time…

My children are leaving for summer camp on Sunday right after church.  In preparing (and not on the night before — PROPS for mom!) I’ve come to learn a few things…

• It cost almost as much at Wal-Mart tonight in gathering items for them as it did for the actual price that I am paying to send them to church camp.
• One of the biggest reasons is that I needed two of everything.  Typically, when we travel I throw the kids’ stuff in one bag.  They’ve always gone together and while they technically are going together, they won’t be together.  So we needed two cans of sunscreen, two tubes of toothpaste, two things of soap, etc.  Two of everything.  I felt like Noah the whole night.
• Another reason that it was a little on the pricey side is that we didn’t have much of what they needed.  Like sleeping bags.  Or extra bedding.  Because I’m a goober and when I cleaned out the linen closet, I got rid of all the old sheets.  So we needed sleeping bags, and they both needed a duffel bag to carry this crap in because I didn’t have two of them that were large enough… and one suitcase, as previously mentioned, wasn’t going to cut it.
• I should learn to keep items like flashlights in a central location.  They both needed one. I know we have two in this house.  But now we have two more, appropriately labeled.
• And then there was the issues of towels.  I didn’t want to send my good towels (good = towels that match and are 6 years old).  I was afraid they might not come home.  So I picked up cheapy towels for them.  In hindsight, I should’ve let them take the good towels, lose them, so that I would have an excuse to go and buy new towels.
• Then, let’s talk about beach towels.  Our beach towels all have characters on them.  Characters such as Big Bird, Batman, Rescue Heroes, etc.  Can I send my middle schooler with one of those towels?  Uh, no.  So we needed non character beach towels.
• My son could care less what he wears as long as he has clothes.  I told him he needed six outfits.  He pulled six shirts and six pairs of shorts from his drawers and threw them in the bag.  Added six pairs of underwear, six pairs of socks, his swim trunks, pool shoes, and he was ready to roll.  I’m not sure he’ll match, but he doesn’t seem to care.
• My daughter, on the other hand, treats everything like a fashion show.  Whereas it took Matthew six minutes to pack, it took Samara two hours.  We had to go through all her clothes.  Then we had to pick out which shirts we had to wear.  Then we had to find matching shorts.  We also had to pick out our best underwear and the proper “bras” because heaven forbid the mosquito bites she’s sprouting would go “unsupported” for the week.  Additionally, she is highly upset that I will not allow her to take more than one pair of flip flops (rubber ones at that) for the pool and her sneakers.  When I checked her bag she had SIX pairs of shoes and three purses.  I am now the “meanest mom in the world” because I won’t allow her to take them.
• We folded laundry tonight and packed while watching the new Disney movie Camp Rock with the Jonas Brothers.  Samara now thinks that she will be experiencing the same thing next week.  I assured her it would be nothing like that.  I think she was disappointed.
• If you purchase items of clothing for your daughter to wear specifically FOR summer camp, you should put them away until it’s time for summer camp and not let her “break them in” because they will be no where to be found the night you are packing and a meltdown will occur and it will be YOUR fault that they are missing.
• The same goes for the one piece bathing suit, her FAVORITE bathing suit, even though three weeks ago, I was the “meanest mom in the world” because I made her purchase a one piece bathing suit as opposed to a two piece.
• Dealing with two children who are excited about summer camp and trying to make sure you have everything is an awesome way to distract your mind from your upcoming date.  Although, I still don’t know what I’m going to wear.  I have 13 hours to figure it out.
• But my biggest lesson?  The 5 days of peace and quiet is well worth every.single.solitary. penny I paid.  I’ll miss ‘em, but I need some space!

Until next time…

I just finished reading More Than It Hurts You by Darin Strauss and can I tell you how amazing it was?

I have to admit that I’m pretty clueless when it comes to finding new authors.  I typically stick with my favorites or the genres that I like, but I’ve found recently that there is so much more out there.

I wasn’t expecting to enjoy this book.  It’s just that simple.  It’s not Patterson-esque but I was determined to read with an open mind, and I’m so glad that I did.

I’m not used to overly descriptive writing.  While I realize that description is important in writing as to allow us to visualize where the events are unfolding, I often view it as overly wordy and unneccessay.  Perhaps it’s because the books that I read aren’t overly descriptive, but Strauss has a way of writing so that I felt that I was right there.  When he described a drive that main characters, Josh and Dori, were driving, he listed the stores that they passed.  I could see the street lined with each of those eating establishments, supermarkets, and retail outlets.  It’s almost as if I feel at some point in time, I will find that street and know exactly where I am.

In the beginning, I had a little trouble following the intertwining story lines.  There were a few characters that needed to be introduced that were key to the story line.  Once the background information was presented on each of the main and supporting characters was done, the story line really picked up.

The characters were people that I could picture in my own life.  Josh, the husband, father, and tv sales person.  The descriptions of the Upfronts for his network were awesome to read simply because I work in TV.  I know all about the upfronts, but I’ve never actually attended one.  His description was much like what I’ve heard from colleagues who have attended.  His wife, Dori, wants to be the best wife and mother.  But she struggles with the battle going on in her mind and I can relate to this.  Darlene, the head of pediatrics, comes from a non-traditional background, single mother, and has reached much success in her life.  Her confidence and strength were much admired by me the entire time that I was reading this book and very encouraging to me.

After reading More Than It Hurts You, I’ve been able to step back and look at my own parenting skills.  I spent the entire book going back and forth between HATING Dori and wanting to give her a HUGE hug.  That emotion could change as quickly as I could turn the page.  I could identify with the feelings that she had but I could never condone the thoughts that she carried out.  I was angry with her, I was sad for her.  And at the same time, I could feel for Josh and Darlene as well with their struggles, although I was never angry with them.  But it did make me stop and think if outsiders, looking in to my life, could also say the same thing?  Am I entitled to some of the thoughts that I have if I don’t follow through with them?  As mothers, I think there are times that our mind tends to stray, but I bring it back.

All in all, I highly recommend More Than It Hurts You.  Not only was it a story filled with great story lines and twists, but the characters were real and I was able to challenge my mind while reading it.  I’ll be adding his other books, The Real McCoy and Chang and Eng, to my summer reading list.

If you want to hear what others are saying about More Than It Hurts you, you can follow the book tour here.

Until next time…

BLOGHER!!!!!

I’ve been seeing all the ads for BlogHer and She Speaks… and I was bummed.  Just to make me feel better, I looked at the airfare because I knew that it would be the deal breaker.  Come on… gas is high, airfares are high and I knew that seeing a $600 plane ticket from here to San Fran was going to make me realize that it wasn’t going to happen.

So I looked.

$313.

Uh oh….

That makes it affordable.

But there was still the cost of the hotel…

But when I told my friend Sally, who happens to live in San Francisco, that I was thinking about going, she asked if I wanted to stay with her.

Uh oh…

it’s affordable again.

Oh… but what about the kids?

Checking the calendar, they will be with their grandparents.

We’re back to thinking about it again.

I called the BFF.  I gave her 5 minutes to talk me out of it.

She said go.

So, I did it.

I purchased the registration and my airfare.

That’s when I realized that it’s 30 days away!  Like a month!

And then?

and unexpected financial blessing was bestowed upon me that almost covered the cost of the trip.

And so, I’m going.

Are you?

Until next time….

Went and got myself involved in WAY too much…

But I have been working on a bunch of stuff for the blog and a new little project which, maybe I’ll tell you about this week… and helping some friends.. and VBS… and oh yeah, did I mention my kids are here ALL. DAY. LONG?

And then there’s this work stuff that I have to get done… and a date… and blog installs… and friends… and animals… (dog sitting this week!)

And, we leave for Mississippi in 8 days.

EIGHT DAYS!

Which means that I need to find someone to watch MY animals, pack, plan itineraries, etc.  But before that, I have to get my kids packed for camp… they leave Sunday…

Are you tired just reading about it?

Yeah, me too.

But I can’t complain… I did it to myself… but it’s all so exciting!  :D  Like really, really exciting!  All of it!  Even the kids being home, but don’t tell them that I said that… I’ll deny it!

So, I’ve not been around to blogs… and I’ve been lax in emailing back when you leave comments and I’m so very, very sorry….

And you know what else?  I never picked a winner for my giveaway (or mailed the prizes from the other) but I promise… they’ll all go in the mail this week…

But the winner of Kisses of Sunshine for Mom is….

Cindi… who has no blog to link to, but I’ve emailed her…

Thanks for sticking around, and for the comments… because I love them…

And all of you…

And now, I sleep…because I’m severly lacking that…

Until next time…

I have an alter ego. Her name is Professor Wilma. Tonight she was captured on video, so that I could share her with you.

Ironically, when I got home from VBS tonight, I had an email from Jaime. I met Jaime when I helped redid her blog with the help of Jo-Lynn and she’s a blessing. For that reason, she’s also my Blog Pick of the Week. She’s got a huge heart, and a Godly woman. Not to mention, she’s FUH-NEY.

Really, she is…

Anyway, she emailed me and said that she had a contest going on and she had me on the brain. The contest is a bundle of stress relieving stuff and it’s funny. I’ve been so stressed that I hadn’t made it around to blogs in awhile, or responded, or commented.. and so I would’ve missed this.

But Jaime wanted to know how we handle stress.

For me?

It’s what I did tonight. Gather in my safe haven, with my fellow Christians and just be goofy. Put the world behind me and not even think about it. And just have fun.

Head on over to ChaseNKids and enter…

Until next time…

Today we celebrate Father’s Day… and by we, I mean all single mothers. The reason? Most of us have taken on additional roles, some of them ones that we aren’t necessarily cut out to do. We “take one for the team” when it comes to our kids and while you may hear us say, “That’s a man thing!” the reality of it is, it’s our thing — whether we like it or not.

No, we don’t get to use the great lines of “Go ask your father” or threaten “Wait until your father gets home” because it’s just us. No one else is coming home for them to wait on. (I tried it once on my kids and they laughed out loud!)

Even though I am actively seeking someone else to explain the birds and the bees to my son, I am grateful for the things that I have learned by taking on the fathering role.

For example, when my son began playing football, I was clueless from where the pads went to how the game was played. But I learned quick! We stumbled around the first time I had to get him dressed for practice with all those pads, but now? I’m an old pro. And on Sunday afternoons during football season… we’re on the couch… cheering on the Redskins, together.

Along the lines of football, I was unsure of how to act on the football field. How uncool is it to have your mom kissing you as you put your helmet on? I noticed the other fathers getting in their sons’ faces and telling them to put their game face on. So now, I make my muscles and grunt in Matthew’s direction. He always laughs, but grunts back. At least he humors me.

And then there’s taking Matthew to purchase his first, er, um, athletic supporter. I was shocked when they told me he needed one as he’s got nothing to support (I’m sure when he’s 25, he’ll love knowing that I’ve told the world that he’s got nothing to support….) but come on now! He’s 10. After speaking to several males, they agreed that the family jewels must be protected. (What is it with you guys?)

Off to Dick’s I take him (yes, I’m chuckling too…). I have his younger sister in tow and I mention that we’re going to buy him a cup. Apparently my father has already explained this to him (Thanks Dad! Love ya and I owe ya!) and all I have to do is figure out what size he wears… sounds easy, right?

I send his sister off to look at something else while we decide what to purchase and he’s mortified (ask my brother…he’ll tell you how uncool it is to purchase your first cup with your mother!) Is he a small? Medium? Certainly not a large. Of course when you say that he just lowers his head as if he’s embarrassed to be seen with me. He escaped unscathed and as a side note, because it’s so hilarious… we get in the car and his younger sister jumps up from the back seat and asks, “Did we get the glass for Matt’s penis?” Get it? Glass? Cup?

But I digress…

My time is spent between making dinner and playing catch. We put together legos and we dig up stumps. We do all the things that fathers and sons and fathers and daughters do. Just because we’re dealt this hand doesn’t mean that our kids have to suffer.

And I have to be honest…I suck at being a father, but I try. Because I know that my children have certain needs, especially my son. I feel bad some days because I know that I’m just not cutting it. But I know that he knows I mean well. (And then he talks about me to my dad and how I “do it wrong.”)

So today, I would like to wish all the single mothers out there a very happy father’s day! You’re doing a phenomenal job!

Originally posted June 16th, 2007

Until next time…

In everything I do, I attempt to be the bigger person.  Sometimes that means keeping my mouth shut when I don’t want to.  For those of you who know me, that’s not easy.

At. All.

I wasn’t always this way.  There was a time that I just said what I wanted to say.  I fought insignificant battles just to win.  Talk about running around in circles.

But what I’ve learned is that while it’s hard to be the bigger person, to live above reproach, it will always come back to you.  Always.  Maybe not in the timely manner that you want, but it will.

This softball season, I played with a lot of coaches that were out there to win.  If that meant towing the line on a few rules, then that’s what they did.   I can assure you that we would’ve won more games had I played my best players in the infield every inning.  But because this is an instructional league and made of up players who are as young as 5, I don’t.  I followed the rules and I rotated the players every inning.  All of my girls played in the infield and all of my girls played in the outfield.  Every. single. game.

You see, as competitive as I am, I want to win.  I want to win bad.  I don’t like to lose.

At. all.

But what I want more than a win, is a fair game.

The regular season ended last Saturday.  Today was the eight-year-old tournament.  These girls will be moving up next year where it’s not as easy.  And the purpose of this tournament?  The coaches from next year will be there… because there is drafting.  Cracks me up.  Drafting.  But if there’s one thing that Roanoke County is passionate about, it’s softball… and football… and well, they take pride in their sports.  And I love the organizations because of the effort they put into it.

Now, there were four eight year old teams.  They combine the girls and I was fortunate enough to have six of my players and four from another team.  (Coincidentally, their team beat the crap out of us both times we played them.)  And we had about 20 minutes of practice time before the game, together, as a team.

The other coach was a coach who, if he lost any games this season at all, it was very few in number.  He was confident.  He was diligent in working with his newly formed team and my 10 girls were out there with no direction, and I was just letting them throw.

But, I knew about this coach, the parents knew about this coach, and the girls knew about this coach.  They knew because we played them before.

So, I just leveled with the girls.  Yes, he had a good team, but now he has new players.  They’ve combined just like we have and I believe we can beat the impossible.

And it was hard.  The first two innings there were some plays, some fielding that was questionable.  There were some base runners that I personally felt should’ve been out, but I didn’t make a big deal out of it.  His first base gal preferred to stand ON the bag and my girls couldn’t get there.  A few times I said something to the girl but then, I went to the coach.  I asked him if he could remind his first base gal if she could not stand on the bag.

I was nice about it.  I really was.

And do you what his response was?

“You’re up by 10 runs and you’re worried about that?”  Or something to that effect.

I wanted to scream at him and tell him that I didn’t care if we were up or down by 10 runs, that they aren’t allowed to stand in the way of the runner.  But I didn’t.

I replied with, “it’s etiquette” and walked away.

It didn’t matter.  By that point in time, he knew that he couldn’t win.

We won.

The second game?  We at least had an umpire.  And we lost.  But only by one point.  Despite the heat and being tired, my girls gave me their best… which is all I asked for.

In return, we got not only a 2nd place medal but also the security in knowing that we played a fair game.

And that’s worth more than a win any way you look at it.

Until next time…