July 19th, 2008
Last night, while I had every intention of going to bed right after I posted, I didn’t. I ended up going back out. First for a drink and then on a walk through the city at night. We just kept walking and walking and walking. We ended up at the Bay Bridge and it was breathtaking and eerie and the most phenominal thing that I have ever seen. The city was quiet. The streets were bare with the exception of the “residences” we past of those who make their home on the street.
It was sad because it’s not exactly warm here. At least not like it is back home. And these portable “homes” were everywhere.
I don’t know how far we walked. I guess I could look at a map but I’m sure that would make me even more tired than I already am. I know it was far because the few people here, locally, that I shared about my walk, they just looked at me like I was nuts.
I guess I am.
But it made me feel alive. There is such an energy when walking through the city, and for me, it’s any large city. It makes me miss Philadephia. Not that I don’t love Roanoke; not that I don’t KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that God has me in Roanoke for a good reason; not that I WANT to move. But there is something ingrained in me, something that I can’t explain that comes out when I’m in the city. It’s a confidence that I don’t have at home. It’s a sense of feeling like I belong.
Until I walk by places like BCBG, DSW, Barney’s, Saks, Tiffany’s and then I look down at my Payless shoes and my Williamsburg sweatshirt with an unexplainable hole in it and realize that while I love the city, I’m not accustomed to these fashion trends that accompany it.
I did not feel like I was able to walk into Saks or Tiffanys. I did not feel like I could just look in a store like Gucci or Louis Vitton. To be honest, I’m amazed that I even know of these labels, of these designers. While I know of them, I do know know them. And so I chose to walk by, envisioning my life if these designers were an intrical part of it.
And it made me uncomfortable.
I did manage to browse through DSW because I’m a shoe whore and there were some that I could afford and some that I could not but what I don’t understand is why do I need a $400 pair of shoes? What makes them worth that amount of money?
Due to sleeping in this morning, and not wanting to sit on the floor at the first session, I chose to walk some more. I spent more time thinking, discovering, looking, watching, wondering, imagining. I came back to the conference for lunch and when there was nothing that interested me in the second session, I decided to go exploring again. I never ventured far from the hotel, but I ventured far enough so that I could take in more of the local sights and sounds, thriving on the energy that is expelled with the hustle and bustle of city life.
And I’ve enjoyed every single minute of my time here. I don’t regret coming alone. I don’t regret not finding the feeling of “fitting in” (although this whole honorary Cannuck? I’m digging it!). I don’t regret not finding value in some of the sessions.
Because through this whole process, this expereince, this trip… Through everything that I have encountered, I’ve been able to discover more about me, Heather Jacobson. I learned things about me… things I like, things I don’t like — things I can improve upon and things that I am proud of.
And that, dear readers, is something that I could’ve NEVER put a price on. It’s something that I wouldn’t have gotten without this trip. And it’s been worth EVERY single penny to come here.
It’s also truly been the BEST part of this trip. Well, that and the free stuff!
Until next time…
Filed under BlogHer '08, Heather's Quirks, Thoughts... |
Desperately Seeking WordPress
