I have often heard, from many, that I have good kids. And, I’ll agree with them. I do have good kids. On the whole.
Does it make me a bad parent to add that stipulation in there? ”On the whole?”
One of my children isn’t speaking to me right now. Because chores weren’t done I took away a prized possession for a 24 hour time period. When the hubs and I came back from our walk last night there was a note that was addressed to him and then proceeded to tell him about the phone messages, the fact that the chores were now done, and that I would be spoken to after 24 hours.
Part of me wants to dance and scream and shout, “YES! I’m doing my job!” and be glad that I’m not going to be spoken to because that means, even if just for a brief moment, I’ve gotten through.
But then there’s the other part of me… the people pleaser… the one that can’t stand the fact that someone is mad at me and it’s my fault.
I continually try to make sure the former is on top on my thought closet but it’s hard — my brain just goes a million miles a minute….
And that’s just for one kid… during a one hour time period… there are FOUR of them… and 24 hours in a day!
I think I want for my kids what most people want for theirs… to grow up to be fully functional members of society…
But oh mylanta!
How in the world will I survive to get them there?
Until next time…
Just keep repeating… I am their parent, not their friend… Being a parent at this stage will help you get to be their friend when they are grown.
Being a parent is hard but we can do it! Being a “good” parent is even harder but based on what I’ve heard and seen you are doing a great job at being a good parent! Your kids love you and they (occasionally) don’t like you…that means you are doing things right.
Heather–take it from one who went through the same thing, that the day will come they will thank you…….although you’ll wish you had a tape recorder when it happens! My girls are in their 30′s now, and they both gave me a run for my money growing up. We actually sit together and laugh about the things they tried to pull, and how I handled it…..but, I remember where you are right now thinking it would all blow up in my face. Be strong–for them–and one day you WILL reap the rewards!
boy do i feel you! it’s such a hard line to balance – danielle makes me want to pull my hair out on an almost daily basis.
It is Soooooo not your fault! You’re growing a good grownup, well several actually, Its a tough job. Girls are hard to parent. When the punishment hurts, it makes them think harder about their decisions the next time they have a choice to make. If it didn’t hurt, it wouldn’t work.
I got my daughter’s attention after going to a parenting seminar, she was about 12. Within a week the new technique had solved most of our issues. She would probably say I was the meanest person on the planet, but it changed her behaviors in a big way. Now, at 20 years old, when she has choices to make, hopefully she remembers how bad choices feel and do her best to avoid them.
You are an awesome mom, and down the road, those kiddos will “rise up and call (you) blessed.”