31 Things I’ve Learned About Being a StepMom



I’ve been at this for awhile now and while I think I know a few things, I am not an expert.  But life experience has a way of setting you up as one for some.  I don’t pretend to know it all, but when it comes to this stepmom gig, I’ve been around the block a time or two and have several t-shirts.

And while I’ve figured a few things out, there are still many things that are just now popping up for the first time.

And this step parenting thing?  It’s hard, y’all.

So, for the next 31 days, I’m going to be talking about 31 things I’ve learned as a step mom in the hopes that I’m able to provide encouragement for just one other stepmother out there.  While the topics are similar to the ones I wrote last year, I’m going to be adding new content based on how things have changed for me, or how I think about things…

Because a year can make a big difference!

But this isn’t just for stepmoms.  Know why?  Because I bet, even if you’re not a stepmom, you know one – she’s a co-worker, a woman within your church, or even a member of your family.  Perhaps she’s shared a few things and you’ve stifled the urge to look at her like she has four heads. (It’s okay to admit that, I’ve seen the look more times than I can count.)

Yes.  Many of these things we couldn’t make up if we tried.  They are true.  They are very real struggles that unless you’ve lived them, you probably don’t understand them.  And these posts might not make you fully understand what it’s like to be a stepmom, but they will give you a glimpse into the life of a stepmom.

You won’t find mudslinging, drama or any personal vents here.  You’ll hear parts of my story and only my story, because mine is the only one I need to share.

I welcome comments, but ask that you respect others when commenting.  I don’t want to delete, but I know how heated conversations can get when dealing with these conversations.  I believe we can all get along here, m’kay?


And please feel free to share.  There are more stepmoms out there than you think and you don’t know who might need the encouragement!

Here’s to the next 31 Days!

Day 1:  It’s Complicated

Day 2: You Can’t Hurry Love

Day 3:  This Might Be My Circus…But They Are Not My Monkeys

Day 4: The Grass Isn’t Always Greener…

Day 5: Establish Some Ground Rules

Day 6: I’m Right Where God Wants Me to Be

Day 7:  You Must Look at Life Through the Eyes of Your Stepkids

Day 8: It’s Nothing Personal

Day 9: Not Everyone Gets It

Day 10: Everybody Wants to Know “When Are You Having an ‘Ours’ Baby?”

Day 11:  It’s Not Always a Blended Family Issue

Day 12: Sometimes Life Gives You a Second Chance

Day 13:  Never Assume Anything

Day 14: Support Systems Are a Must

Day 15: Sometimes You Just Need a Break

Day 16: Sometimes We Just Have to Let Things Go

Day 17: “Family” is Redefined

Day 18: Stepparenting on Pinterest

Day 19: Spend Time Together…and one-on-one

Day 20: Remember…You Chose to Travel This Road

Day 21: Fear is the Absence of Faith

Day 22: We Have No Business Casting Stones

Day 23: Even With a Lifetime of Practice, I Will Never Be Perfect

Day 24: More Kids = More Work

Day 25: Sometimes You Just Gotta Laugh

Day 26: TBA

Day 27: Don’t Lose Focus on What’s Truly Important

Day 28: This is their story

Day 29: We must be careful not to divide our kids in half

Day 30:  Be the kind of stepmom you’d want your own kids to have

Day 31:  I’ve Lucked Out With These Kids


Published by

Heather Jacobson St.Clair

Heather is a mostly sane mother, step-mother, and wife. She works part-time on staff at the neighborhood church serving children, teens, and families and moonlights by geeking around building and fixing Wordpress websites. She loves reading and writing, but not arithmetic (including helping with arithmetic homework). Striving to be the woman/wife/mother God calls her to be, she blogs here about life, NKOTB, faith and salvation through humor. She's slightly addicted to her iPhone, Sunny D and she's never met a potato she didn't like.

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