The science fair is done. Awards were given today and tonight, we parents can go and ooh and aah over our children’s projects, bring them home and then find a time when the kids won’t notice to trash them because they are taking up space.

(You do that too, don’t you? Surely you don’t save EVERY project?)

But because I’m behind the 8-ball, I never got to show you the finished products.

Let’s start with the dreaded potato clock. Here is what my porch looked like Sunday afternoon…

But we pulled it off and created this…

I think it looks pretty good… especially since the kid doesn’t have a design bone in his body… ok, so maybe i helped a little… but seriously, just with the typing. They were his ideas.

Nice title, don’t you think?

And my kid has a sense of humor… just read that last line on the materials…

What I don’t have a picture of is his conclusion… which started off with this… “Don’t believe everything you read on the internet…”

The kid’s a riot I tell ya!

And then there was the floating egg project by my lovely and talented, anal, perfectionist daughter…

The title isn’t creative in and of itself, but it’s what she wanted and she didn’t want to hear any suggestions…. and the entire project was made with my scrapbooking supplies…

It WAS my idea to replace the ‘o’s with eggs. It took me 20 minutes to explain to her what I meant and she finally agreed that it would look cool…and yes, I realize that there are only 4 cups there instead of the 5 that we used… that’s because after the SECOND trip to get photos developed I realized that I forgot to copy cup 0 on the disk… I said screw it, she didn’t complain, so I didn’t make a big deal out of it.

Everything… and I mean EVERYTHING is color coordinated on this including the brads that she used on the sides. It really did look nice…

Today, in the door they came with news that I, the best mom in the world, Sam won best effort. Can you believe it? (Personally, I think Matthew put forth more of an effort, but hey! I wasn’t a judge.

And no, that wasn’t an award for me, but this one is….

Amy at Permission to Peruse awarded me with this award and tickled I am.. Especially since I’ve not mentioned awards, at all, on my blog and I didn’t have to pay her for her to give it to me.

This one really is mine… unless I have to share with the kids, since it is they who give me the most of my content…

Until next time…

Filed under According to Samara, Manly Man Matthew, Mom Stuff, Pics, blogging | Comments (5)

I am a HUGE fan of sports, but I much prefer playing over watching. The reason is simple, really, and it had everything to do with my inability to sit still. Ok, and it might have something to do with how I think I know it all and could do it better than those, you know, actually playing.

Hey, I’m just keeping it real.

The first year that Samara cheered, I ended up being a helper. I couldn’t stand just sitting there at practices and while I know that I am not a cheerleader, I could do enough to help the girls with their candlesticks, high and low v’s and all those other moves that have the weirdest names.

Then last year, I ended up as the assistant coach and it was fun. But I never had to sit still. I was in the stands getting the parents motivated, doing the cheers with the girls because inevitable one of the girls would forget, or get distracted or something.

So when I was asked to coach softball, I wasn’t sure what I was going to do. I would much prefer to just be a helper. Then I’m not watching but I don’t have to take the responsibility of everything… heaven forbid that I would have to take responsibility for a win or a loss… or how well they play the game.

I’m also very competitive. That never got in the way when I was coaching cheerleading, but with softball? Oh. My. Word. It’s starting to come out and I have check myself before I wreck the image of myself that I want the girls to have. Because today? I wanted to go off on the other team.

And really? It’s just because they felt threatened, I’m sure… lol

We lost today, by the way. We played the team that spanked us last Saturday. But today? We only lost by 2. (If you don’t remember, last week we lost by 8.) If we could’ve played just one more inning, we would’ve won.

But back to this coaching thing. I wasn’t sure if I would like it. I wasn’t sure if I could stand just standing on the side lines telling the girls when to run or where to throw. I wasn’t sure if I was ready to make line ups and field rotations. I honestly didn’t think that I would like it all that much.

And we all know how chicken I was when it came the first game.

But, over time, and after we logged our third game today, I’ve realized that I love this. I love helping the girls. I love seeing them thrive and I love offering encouragement when they don’t.

I love seeing those who aren’t the best players actually get the ball and the look on their faces when they realize they have the ball and don’t remember what to do with it.

I love the looks on their faces when the bat makes contact and they are so in shock that they forget to run. I love yelling for them from my place on the sidelines and telling them to get ready to book. I love telling the batters when they step into the box that I want them to come visit me at 3rd base.

And those are the ones that are quite as good as the others.

I love seeing the good ones strive to do better. I love seeing their passion and drive. Like this one girl we have. She’s amazing. She has such passion. She’s the type of kid that gets the ball at the pitchers mound and then runs it herself to first (and gets the runner out because she’s just that fast). And when I tell her that she really needs to throw it to the first baseman, I love it when she tells me that she can’t because the first baseman never catches it.)

And do you know what else I love?

I love watching my daughter thrive up close and personal. And I mean, THRIVE.

This morning my assistant coach called to remind me that he wasn’t going to be there today and talk to me about the line up and unprompted, emphatically he told me how good my daughter, who has only been playing for a month, is.

But seriously, she is!

And it’s so amazing! She has a passion for playing. She loves this game. And I can only imagine that I am looking at her the way that my parents looked at me.

The look on her face when she is up to bat is the same look that I had. When she swings, she swings to smack the crap out of that ball and today?

Oh. My. Goodness. I couldn’t even believe it.

The first two balls were a miss because she wasn’t keeping her eye on the ball. After some gentle reminders about it, she stood up there, her stance darned near perfect, and the ball came across the plate and I heard the crack.

And then I watched that ball sail over the pitcher and land in the outfield. Did you get that? It landed in the outfield. Not hit and rolled past three players out there. It LANDED in the outfield.

That doesn’t happen often with our girls and this is the second time she’s done it.

And I love hearing the other team’s coaches telling their players to “watch her” and I just want to look at them and say, “that’s my girl”.

Softball was always my thing. And now? It’s my daughter’s.

and the love of this game just got greater.

Who knows? Maybe she’s finally found a way to pay her way through college.

We can dream, right?

And one

Until next time…

Filed under According to Samara, Mom Stuff, Thoughts... | Comments (3)

Although we got spanked big time on Saturday, and our game Monday was washed out, we did better tonight… MUCH better… like 11-3 better.

My girls ROCKED those A’s (although they turned a couple of really good plays…)

So that made me happy.  I was much more together tonight.  I knew what I needed to have.  I had enough copies of everything and my assistant coach was back to keep the score book (PTL!!)

However, the neatest part of the night was when Samara was awarded the Player of the Game award (good for a free pretzel from the mall) for 2 hits, 2 runs, 2 RBIs, and 2 outs.  Rock on Sam!!!

Until next time…

Filed under According to Samara, Mom Stuff, Yo! | Comments (2)

In Roanoke, Virginia’s war on good parenting, the worst crankiest criminal offenders kids are pursued by the detectives of the Mom Squad. These are their stories.

dum dum

Monday, April 28, 2008

3:34pm

Jacobson Residence

Me: Samara, I’m moving your bedtime back 30 minutes.

Samara: Why?

Me: Because on at least 3 occasions in the last week you’ve fallen alseep after school which, to me, means you’re not getting enough sleep at night.

Samara: I DID NOT!

Me: Yes, you did.

Samara: I think you’re wrong.

Me: Oh yeah? Well, look here…

and then I proceed to show her

exhibit A - Thursday

Exhibit B - Friday

Exhibit C - Monday

Case closed

Until next time…

Filed under According to Samara, Dorks R Us, Grins and Giggles, Mom Stuff, Pics | Comments (9)

In my 11+ years of mothering my children I have made many grocery store trips. I have had my ankles run over by my children who wish to push the cart and SWEAR they won’t hit anything with it.

I’ve shushed them way too many times because they were being too loud in the store or were arguing.

I’ve calmed crying babies.

I’ve said no to all the sugary cereals (ok, well not ALL of them.)

I’ve allowed them to help pick out fruit and showed them where to find the “clearance” foods.

I’ve pretty much done it all…

except…

…causing a store employee to pipe over the loud speaker that some retard spilled something all over the place.

that is, until Friday night.

And the worst part about it?

I was that retard who caused the spill that required a clean up.

Not my children who were fighting over which $2 12-pack of soda to purchase for the week. Not my children who were not happy to even be at the grocery store. Not my children who argued and pushed one another from the time that we set foot through the electric, motion sensored doors…

No. Not them….

Me.

And it was so careless that I’m embarrassed.

Well, not as embarrassed as I would be if someone actually saw me, but still.

When we still, after 5 minutes, had not come to a conclusion on the carbonated beverage of choice, I grabbed a box of Diet Dr. K. After all, if they couldn’t chose, I would chose for them.

But when I did, I knocked over the Big K that was sitting right next to it.

And when it hit the floor?

Spew. Fizz.

I thought about just walking away. It was such a little leak that surely the next person would report it. I mean, no one was there to see that I had caused the spill.

And really? That box looked like it had been through the mill and had been on the shelf for a gazillion years, so no one was going to buy it anyway.

But, the kids were there. And if I EVER found out that they broke something and didn’t report it, I would skin their hides. So I felt it was best to find a store employee and let them know what I had done.

Except I didn’t have to. Samara darted off before I could process the direction in which I wanted to move.

I waited to hear those dreadful words on the loud speaker, but when Samara returned, they still hadn’t proclaimed that some doofus knocked a box of soda over in aisle 10.

Thinking that she got lost and never actually told someone, I asked her, “Did you tell some one?”

“Yes.” She replied.

Still no word from the overhead voices.

“Well, what did you tell them?” Knowing her, she probably just darted up and said there’s a spill and darted off.

Very loudly, with new inhabitants of aisle 10 within earshot she said, “I told them that my mom had a meltdown in aisle 10 and now there’s a huge puddle of the cheap soda all over the floor.”

And at that moment, I heard it.

“Clean up in aisle 10″

Until next time…

Filed under According to Samara, Manly Man Matthew, Mom Stuff, No Way... | Comments (10)

I would like to report that I came home victorious yesterday, having just logged my first win of the season.

I did not.

I would like to say everything ran like clockwork.

It did not.

I would like to say that I appeared to know what I was doing on that field full of 22 girls and many parents, friends, grandparents, aunts, uncles, babysitters, and coaches.

I did not.

But you know what?

I don’t care.

Because I did it. I learned some things. I learned alot of things.

Like…

• make sure you make all your girls go to the bathroom before the game begins.
• And don’t assume that because your game is scheduled for 3:30 that you will actually get on the field at 3:30.
• Additionally, don’t make plans for seven assuming that your game will start at 3:30.
• Make sure your daughter team knows that even if the cutest boy in the school is in the stands watching the game next to yours that under no circumstances are they to leave the dugout.
• Always have an extra pen.
• And make multiple copies of your field rotation and batting order for those that graciously offer to help you with the girls so that you will not be scrambling at the last minute to copy everything over to scraps of paper 10 minutes before the game.

See? A learning experience.

But I did it.

And we got spanked. 14-4. Of course, I didn’t share this with the girls.

But see, what I learned in church this morning was the quote that I posted just a few hours ago… “It doesn’t have to be perfect to receive God’s blessing…”

and God’s blessing was ALL OVER yesterday.

It was supposed to thunderstorm all day…know when they started? The moment I pulled in the driveway.

We had the right line up so that no one had to switch out batting helmets with a runner and the girls were happy.

We played a good game and some girls made some plays that I never in a million years thought they would make.

No one got hurt.

I kept myself together even though, on more than one occassion, I felt like I had no business coaching these girls.

But you know what?

Even though the score said we lost, we didn’t.

Because when a little one comes up and tugs on your shirt and says, “Coach Heather…. did you see that hit? It went all the way to the grass.” and their face is lit up like the proverbial Christmas tree, you feel good.

But when they follow that with, “You were right. I was using the wrong bat.” it makes you realize that maybe, just maybe, you’re doing an okay job.

And so, I’ll leave you with some pictures of opening day….

White Sox rule!

Seriously, Mom… we’ve already been introduced, so why do we have to clap for all these other teams?

You know what would be a great idea? Let’s play in the dirt so we can get all messed up right before our pictures…

Let’s think about this…

I’m ready… my hair is not, but I am…

Perhaps if she moved her visor up, or if her mother made her cut her bangs, she would see that there’s someone running right by her…

I made it to first!

Next stop… home… won’t it be great if I could be the first girl to score today?

But Mom! I only went over to say hi to him!!!!

Whatever…

Until next time…

Filed under According to Samara, Heather's Quirks, Pics, Thoughts... | Comments (2)

It got quiet in the house.

That means one of two things.

(A) the kids went out to play — YAY

OR

(B) They are into something that they aren’t supposed to be — NOT Yay!!

So I venture back to the bathroom and the door is closed. Thinking that she must be in there, I open the door and spy an empty potty. I come back out and search the rest of the house and cannot find Samara.

I go back in the bathroom and find this…

In case you’re wondering where that is, it’s my bathroom linen closet.

But what I’m wondering is WHY IS THERE A CAT IN MY CLOSET?

Is this her way of telling me she wants to keep the stray cat she found?

Oy… that child….

Until next time…

Filed under According to Samara, No Way..., Pics | Comments (6)

I go crazy sometimes. Ok, alot of times.

I’ve done this every day giveaways once before, but this time I wasn’t prepared. I didn’t think ahead.

I’ve been winging it.

Actually, no I haven’t. I knew after a few minutes of thought what I would give away every day except today.

Monday was easy… who doesn’t love a gift certificate, especially when it’s to anywhere you want?

Tuesday was pretty simple too. I tripped over that blasted Digimakeover, the one that was used once before being put back in the box two Christmases ago, for the gazillionth time. It was safe to say that it could go. I know many girls who love the digi makeover. My daughter is not one of them. Go figure.

Wednesday was pretty easy, too. I have a thing for the New Kids on the Block, therefore, what kind of blogger would I be without giving away something that related to them? Finding something was the problem.

Friday is my big giveaway. The odds are always better because the link back on Mr. Linky is so far down and although people SAY they are going to come back every day? They don’t. And I’m okay with that. But it’s true. Look at the gift card nearing 400 comments because it was 16th on the Linky. The rest of the giveaways? I don’t think we’ve hit 50.

But tomorrow’s giveaway is a biggie. A prize package for a lucky blogger that would cost you in the hundreds of dollars. I say $400, but really? That’s just the marketer in me. It probably wouldn’t really cost you that much. But it would cost you in the triple digits. So, I encourage you to check back tomorrow for that.

But see the day that’s missing?

Thursday. Today. Right now.

Typically, I do look around my house for gently used items that would be worthy of a giveaway. I try to find things that wouldn’t require selling my second born to ship them, but also things that other bloggers would want.

And just like I say, “I have nothing to wear” as I look in my closet and drawers to find something to wear on a first date, I am now looking at my bursting at the seams house saying “there is nothing to give away.”

I could’ve been more prepared.

But that would’ve required me to not enter the contests myself and plan this out. (And, yes, for the first time in the last 3 carnivals, I FINALLY started entering some. I got tired of being the hostess with the mostess. I wanted to win things too.)

And then I remembered something…

A few months ago, I started purchasing things that would be great for last minute gifts or for blog giveaways and put them in the closet. So when I went in there to see what I had, much to my delight, I realized that I had something to give away for today after all!

The tear drop shape fits your back and spreads the weight. Real patchwork leather, with two outer pockets, three inside pockets, plus a quick release for keys. Rubber shoulder pad helps prevent slipping. Black. 16″ long x 10″ wide.

I actually gave one to my daughter and she loves it! Hopefully, it can work for some of you as well… either a purse, a diaper bag, or just something to grab when you’re running out the door with all of your necessities.

I have two of these to give away today, so here’s what you need to do…

• Leave a comment letting me know the weirdest item in your purse right now. (For me, it would be a wireless computer mouse left over from my last trip). You must answer this question to be included in the drawing.
• Comments will close on Saturday, April 26th at Midnight EST.
• This giveaway is open to US residents only
• You don’t need to have a blog, but I have to have a way to email you, so make sure I have that.
• I will notify the winner and you will have three days to respond with your name and address so that I can ship the item to you.

And make sure you enter for the other giveaways that I have going on, and come back tomorrow for the Grand Poobah!

Until next time…

Filed under According to Samara, Yo!, blogging | Comments (124)

A short (no seriously, I promise) background on the pictures in this post…

Rhoda killed a rabbit yesterday. The kids decided to dispose of the rabbit for me, because they love me, and really, it’s just a little bit bigger than a mouse.

These pictures capture the events that took place on the afternoon of April 17, 2008.

So, Sam… think it’s going to fit in that shoe box?

I got it in the bag, Matt… but it needs to go in the Amazon box.

Rhoda! Get away, you’ve already done enough damage.

Come on, Matt… we need to find the perfect place to bury Buddy.

Sam, be respectful. Don’t be so loud. Funerals aren’t loud… unless people are crying loud.

Let’s find the perfect spot, Matt. Then we can bury all dead mice, too. We’ll have a little animal cemetery for all the animals Mom and Rhoda kill.

No… here. This looks like the perfect spot.

Ok, I ‘ll start digging.

You work on that Matt and call me when you’re done. I’m going to watch Hannah Montanna.

This is going to take awhile.

With all this rain we’ve had, the ground sure is hard and dry.

Hey Matt! If we try and put it in this shoe box, you won’t have to dig as big of a hole.

I’ll get Buddy ready for transfer.

Yup! He’s still in there!

I’m glad this bag has handles.

Let’s see if we can make this work.

Matt… he fits, but his legs keep sticking out. Can you help me?

There we go! What a nice coffin for Buddy.

Oh man! His legs popped out again.

I don’t think this is working Matthew.

Forget the coffin. We’ll just bury him in the body bag.

Ok, I’ll finish getting the grave ready. You go make the tombstone.

Man it’s hot out here.

Must. Keep. Digging.

This is taking forever.

Are you done yet, Matthew? It’s a commercial.

Nope, not quite big enough Matt… just a little bit more.

I finished the tombstone.

Heavenly Father, thank you for the time that Buddy had here on earth. Please watch over him in Heaven… that is if he went to Heaven. He might have been a bad bunny, but we’re sorry that Rhoda killed him. Please help Rhoda to stop killing animals in the future. In your precious name I pray. Amen.

I’m just going to clean this up a little bit and make it nice for Buddy.

Hey Matt!  Did you that know that RIP means Rest In Peace?  Becki thought it meant Remember if Possible.

Com on Matt! We’re missing Charmed!

Filed under According to Samara, Dorks R Us, Grins and Giggles, Manly Man Matthew, Pics | Comments (11)

If you look at my daughter and you look at me, you’ll notice that we look alot alike.  I often refer to her as my mini-me, as do others.

I’ve passed alot of things on to her in addition to physical features… like my personality.

She is me.

Period.

She’s manipulative.  She’s funny.  She’s outgoing.  She’s smart, oh that child is smart.  She’s stubborn.  She’s strong willed.  She’s independent.  If she’s thinking it, chances are I thought it to at some point in my life.

And yes, I apologize to my parents on an ongoing basis.

But tonight, I saw something else that I passed on to her.  (And yes, I’m going to brag on myself for just a little bit.)

I passed on to her some mad softball skillz.  (don’t ask why I put that z there… it just seemed to flow.  work with me here.)

Now, I wasn’t a phenomenal softball player, but I could hit.  I could hit because I HAD to hit.  I had to hit it far so that I could lug my rear around the bases before they could get the ball back to the infield to get me out.  I was a big kid.

If I didn’t get it into the outfield, I was out.  I didn’t even bother running.  Running was not my thing.

Come to think of it, it still isn’t.

Did I mention that I’m coaching mini-mites softball this year?  I am.

I’m the head coach, in name only.  My assistant coach and the other parent that is helping know far more than I do about how and what to teach these girls ranging from age 5 to 8.

But Samara?

Picture this… (and I’m so not making this up…)  At practice tonight, we divided the girls into 2 teams…

Bottom of the 5th and the last inning that we’ll get in before dark.

The other team is up by two.

Bases are loaded.

Samara comes up to bat.

In mini-mites there are no strikes and balls.  You get 5 pitches (pitched by the coach) and if you don’t hit it, you’re out.

So, Samara comes up to bat.

She misses the first 3 pitches.

She fouls the fouth.

I’m catching and I tell her to choke up on the bat, to get it off her shoulder, to lean back a little bit and to keep her eye on the ball the whole way in.

After I got the look of “shut up mom, I know what I’m doing” she choked up on the bad, got it off her shoulder, and leaned back a little bit.

I watched Coach B. pitch the ball.

I watched it come toward her.

I watched her swing.

I watched her brand new, purple, shiny bat strike the ball.

I watched her drop the bat and start running.  (Something she can do well.)

I watched the ball, on the ground, make it to the outfield.

I saw her round first and head to second.

I saw one teammate cross home plate.

I saw the girls running to get the ball in the outfield.

I heard Matthew screaming for them to get the ball home to stop any more runs.

I saw Samara stop on second base.

I saw another teammate cross home plate.

I couldn’t believe it!

TWO RBIs and she tied the game!

I try very hard not to cheer for Samara more than the other girls.  They all are doing so well.  But when that ball took off, I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.  That girl can hit!

Now I just need to teach her that playing in the dirt is not what she’s supposed to be doing when she’s on the field.

Until next time…

Filed under According to Samara, Mom Stuff, Pics | Comment (1)